


A Year of Madness

by VincentMeoblinn



Series: Freddy [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Abduction, Aftermath of Torture, Anal, Angst, Crossdressing, Forced Crossdressing, Forced Feminization, Frottage, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Oral, Reid As Unsub, Schizophrenia, Sexual Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-11 01:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3310877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VincentMeoblinn/pseuds/VincentMeoblinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid already had a crush on Hotchner, but after a year in the hands of a rapist with a penchant for forcing his victims out of the closet Reid has developed a full blown obsession with his former boss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline here is a bit fuzzy, but let's put it after Rossi and before Reid's 30th birthday. He's a bit old for the first psychotic break of a schizophrenic but the human mind is cool like that.

SSA Aaron Hotchner stepped out of the stairwell and moved slowly down the hallway towards the BAU headquarters, his gun drawn and his movements cautious. As he approached the elevator he saw a foot was holding it open, the unconscious or dead occupant unresponsive as the door repeatedly attempted to close on their leg. As he got closer he glanced towards the door to the BAU offices and saw them closed. He couldn’t see inside. The blinds were drawn. He turned carefully to clear the elevator and check on the occupant, but whoever it was he didn’t get to see. The foot was suddenly pulled in and the door shut. The elevator began to move and Hotch swore under his breath. He dismissed the elevator ghost and moved towards the BAU’s doors. He slowly turned the doorknob and walked into the room with a silent wish for backup, but he’d walked into the building to find this madness had taken root.

Hotchner stepped into the room with his gun ready to take out the first suspect he saw or defend his team, but the room was…

Reid was reading at his desk at lighting speed. Prentiss was filling out paperwork. Garcia was in her office judging by the distant sound of David Bowie drifting through the air. JJ walked across the higher level in front of his office with a file in her hands and peered in as if expecting him while Rossi chatted on the phone in his office next door. Hotch stared around him in alarm and confusion.

“Um… I don’t know if anyone’s noticed…” Hotch started, his tone angry at how unaware his team was of a person walking in with a gun drawn, but JJ cut him off.

“Has anyone seen the boss?” JJ asked.

“Not today,” Reid replied, “Not like him to be late.”

“Oh well,” JJ replied, “We’ll just have to leave without him. We’ve got a case.”

“I’m standing _right here_ ,” Hotch snapped, but the rest of his rant was cut off when the volume in the room suddenly dropped. He turned around in place in confusion and then finally pegged the volume drop. Garcia’s music was gone.

Hotch curiously headed for her office and peered in. It was empty. It looked like an old abandoned office, the dust having settled in thick. As if she’d never existed.

Hotch turned around and Morgan was stepping out of _Hotch’s_ _office_.

“Okay team, let’s get this started. The jet is running. Grab your go bags.”

“What the _hell_ is going on here?!” Hotch shouted, his panic starting to rise, but that was when he noticed the team heading out didn’t have JJ with them, “Where’s JJ? Morgan, where is JJ?!”

Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid walked out the door and Hotchner chased after them, yanking it open, but the hallway was empty. The elevator door was pinging again and it was _Reid_ laying down in there in the door with his foot keeping it open. He ran to his side, staring at open eyes in horror. He checked for a pulse and then shouted over his shoulder for help. He turned back and stared at Reid again, but he was dressed in a tattered, bloodstained dress. He blinked before Hotch could reel back ins urprise, and then gripped his tie and pulled him down.

“ _You stopped looking for me_ ,” Reid hissed.

“No!” Hotch screamed, pulling away from him in horror. He fled back into the BAU, shouting the names of his team members and screaming for a medic. The room was empty. Old. Dusty. Like the case file in his hand marked UNSOLVED in bold, red letters; the file that emptied out onto the floor with pictures of women and men who had gone missing never to be seen again. With Reid’s picture the last one in the file.

_You stopped looking for me._

“I never stopped!” Hotch shouted, but Morgan shook him awake before he could shout out their missing team member’s name.

“Hotch! Hotch, wake up!”

Hotchner rubbed at his face in misery, “Sorry, just… drifted off. Nightmare.”

“I know,” Morgan replied, “We’re all having them.”

“I can’t believe it’s been a year,” Hotch groaned, rubbing at his face, “A year without hearing from our unsub.”

 _A year without knowing what happened to Reid_ , Hotchner left unspoken.

Morgan nodded sadly and they resumed staring at their horrid files. Reid had been missing a year after what started as a typical serial rapist case. The unsub had been the delusional relationship type. He abducted his victims from high risk areas by tricking them to come near his vehicle, then bludgeoned them and took him hostage. Once in his home he forced them to cook, clean, and perform sex acts on him until he bored of them or they frustrated him. Then he dropped them on the side of the road completely naked and mentally devastated after being mentally, physically, and sexually abused for days on end.

They had been closing in on him, but San Diego was a huge city and the unsub wasn’t making himself obvious. Then he’d simply… stopped. Stopped abducting. Stopped raping. It made no sense. They theorized that he’d either gone to jail or died and moved on with their lives, heading back to Quantico to take on new cases.

A month later they were called back to San Diego on a seemingly different case. Three different men in high positions of authority had gone missing. They had simply vanished. They were trying to find a link between them when Garcia isolated what appeared to be the only link. All three men had transgender information somewhere on their computers. One had typical porn featuring fetishized transgender M2F, but the other two had information on passing as female for a MTF.

When they spoke to the wife of the second missing person, a CEO of an insurance firm named Gregory Franklin, she broke down and confessed that her husband had tried to come out of the closet to her recently. She’d rejected his attempt at transitioning and told him that if he didn’t throw out the dresses he’d been hiding that she’d leave him and take the kids. The other two were single and had no partners close enough to them to answer their questions.

After a week into the case the first man turned up dead, but he’d been feminized. Ze was wearing a dress and had been choked to death after having been raped multiple times and having hir testicles removed. Ze also had been taking HRT but had never had any prescribed to hir. The ME put the use at between one month and three, depending on if ze’d been taking the recommended dose or not.

They put the victimology at bisexual, closeted, cross dressers and transgender male-to-female individuals in their twenties.

Hotchner knew the moment the case went off track. Hindsight was like that. He could pinpoint it exactly. It was when Reid had distracted him _it was when Reid tried to confess to you and you ignored him_ and he’d let himself get caught up in something he never should have. In a crush by a younger member who was staring at him in such longing that it had disabled his ability to profile him. It wasn’t until Reid had vanished from right in front of the police station that he’d realized that Reid’s awkward stammering about his crush was only half of his confession. He was trying to tell Hotch that he fit the profile. He was trying to tell Hotch that he was probably next. That he _was_ next.

Then he was gone and Hotch was left sorting out his belongings where he found a pink, silk nighty amongst his things and a long letter written out to Hotchner apologizing for his unprofessional behaviour. He’d not had so much difficulty holding back tears since Haley had died, but he did so because he knew he couldn’t let the team see how shaken he was.

_I yelled at him. I told him he was disrupting the case. That him confessing having feelings for me was inappropriate. I reduced him to tears and then left him to walk past his co-workers, where he fled their scrutinizing eyes by heading outside… and straight into a sadists arms._

It was three days later when another victim turned up, but this one was alive. Ze was one of the missing men, now up to four, and the story ze related to them was identical to the ones told by the women who had been dropped off naked nearly half a year before. That was when they’d realized the link, and that the unsub from the first case had switched his victims over from women to men.

The profile changed, but not before another man was abducted and yet another dropped naked on the side of the road. This one told a different story. George Conner told them that ze was _grateful_ for all that the unsub had done. Ze worshiped him, loved him, and repeatedly called him hir husband. Apparently ze had fallen out of favour because ze had refused to rape someone. Someone ze repeatedly called _the know-it-all bitch_ , but when they tried to get hir to confirm that this person was Reid ze became agitated and nearly harmed hirself while screaming that ze was the only wife the unsub would ever have.

That was how they’d learned the unsubs name. George was screaming for hir beloved Alfred. Garcia sat down to the gruelling task of searching for the right Alfred.

Three more men were abducted in quick succession right after that one but they had located the house and were confident of finding their madman. Right up until the moment they broke down the door and found it empty. One room had been covered from top to bottom in Reid’s handwriting, everything from recipes to measurements for dresses and a long detailed list of cities and phone numbers. They did their best to decode it but in the end it made no sense to anyone. They searched and searched until the higher ups called a halt. They were told to return to the BAU. They were told to shelve the case until new information showed up. They kept looking, but there was nothing to see. Reid and four other closeted transwomen had simply vanished into thin air with a rapist who wanted to make them into the perfect wives.

Months passed. They got used to not hearing him chirp up an answer. They fell into sync without him, but their solve rate went down. They blamed their lack of a genius when reports asked why. Then it happened. Another abduction. A closeted transwoman in San Diego. A chance to look for Reid again. Hotch swore they would find him this time… and then he got the call.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ze - he/she  
> hir - his/her  
> hirs- his/ hirs  
> mx- mister/mrs/miss/ms  
> enby- boy/girl/person
> 
> hir is pronounced 'here'   
> mx/mixter is pronounced 'mix' and 'mixter'


	2. Chapter 2

Hotch was standing in the middle of San Diego’s police department, listening to the lead detective on the case reassure them that they’d never stopped looking for Reid, when his phone rang. He glanced at it automatically and then froze. He watched it vibrate in his hand a third time and then snatched his hand out and gave the nearest agent a shake. He couldn’t speak. He just showed Rossi his phone.

“Reid? Does that say Reid?” Rossi asked.

“Answer it!” Morgan spat out, opening his own phone and getting Garcia on the line.

“Agent Hotchner,” Hotch said firmly.

No answer.

“This is SSA Aaron Hotchner, _FBI_. Answer me.”

There was a soft sound on the other side of the phone and he froze, listening carefully. The soft sound repeated, and then whispered again. Morgan was instructing Garcia to track the phone number now that it had finally been turned on again. Hotch wasn’t regretting keeping the bill paid at all now. The soft sound repeated and Hotch recognized it for what it was.

“Reid?” Hotch tried softly.

“Haaa,” Came the sound, a bit louder this time. An attempt to say ‘Hotch’?

“Tell me where you are.”

“Mmmmmm,” Came the reply.

“Are you gagged?” Hotch asked, “Grunt twice for yes.”

Silence, then what almost sounded like _laughter_?

“Spencer,” Hotch tried again, “We never stopped looking. None of us.”

“I…” A soft word.

“You?” Hotch prompted after a moment.

Silence, so Hotch tried to prompt him to get him to continue talking, “Do you want me to use a different name? I know some of what happened to you. I know you may be identifying as female now. If you give me a new name I’ll happily use it.”

“W-willow,” Reid replied softly, voice higher than Hotch was used to.

“Willow?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s a lovely name, and it suits you. Willow Reid?”

No response.

“Can you tell me where you are, Willow?” Hotch asked, his voice becoming softer and more comforting. He was trying to get Reid to relax and talk to him.

“No.”

“Are you being watched?”

“Yes.”

“Is he there with you?”

“Yes.”

“Can you give me some kind of… clue? We found your writing on the walls and floor of the house you were kept in. We couldn’t decipher it. Is it important to now?”

“No.”

“Okay, that helps. You’re helping us find you already.”

“No.”

“No?” Hotch asked in surprise.

“I have to make dinner now. Goodbye.”

“Wait! R- _Willow_!”

The call disconnected and Hotch forced himself to refocus to the room around him.

“Garcia traced the call, it was coming from just outside of San Diego,” Morgan replied, “Was it Reid?”

“I’m not positive, but it sounded like him… or rather her. He gave us a name. Have Garcia look up any references to a woman named Willow in the area. He travelled with these people, he renamed them, and he may have given them entirely new identities.”

“Or stolen ones,” Rossi added.

“San Diego is important to the unsub,” Hotch replied, “This is his home. He comes here to kidnap, but he may have done things outside of the city in the year he was gone. Let’s try to trace combinations of the names of the victims, Willow, and similar crimes.”

XXX

Reid set the table, taking care to keep his eyes down. He hummed happily despite the sickening smell of rotting flesh coming from downstairs. When Alfred came upstairs he smiled cheerfully, but still kept his head down.

“Freddy, dear,” Reid chirped, “I have your dinner ready. Did you take out the trash?”

Alfred sighed in frustration, “You are such a _nag_.”

“Yes, but I keep a tidy home,” Reid replied, smiling at the table, “That’s why you love me.”

Reid brushed his hair behind his ear, enjoying the ringing of the his dangling earrings, and finished setting the table. He didn’t look up as Alfred trudged past dragging yet another trashbag full of body parts.

 _Rest in peace, Jack_ ,Reid thought. He adjusted his apron and set about washing some dishes until Alfred was able to finish cleaning up and join him.

“Well,” Alfred sighed, “That was tedious.”

“You’ve had such a hard day,” Reid sighed, “Do you want a back rub before or after dinner?”

“After, I think. I’m starved. What’s for dinner?” Alfred sat down at the table, his olive skin flattering in the bright light. He was a handsome man, someone who could easily lure in lonely, unaccepted men and women.

“Spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread,” Reid replied, “Did you want some milk?”

“Baby, you know I hate milk,” Freddy grumbled.

“Yes, but it’s good for you,” Reid replied.

“Give me my damn beer, bitch,” Alfred snarled.

“Yes, dearest,” Reid replied, heading to the fridge. He pulled the beer out, opened it expertly against the counter, and turned to Alfred with a smile directed to the floor, “Your happiness is my reason for living.”

“And don’t you forget it, Willow.”

XXX

Garcia had found rapes in various counties and one rather horrific online blog that seemed to be from their killer. It was updated at libraries along their travel path so tracing it was pointless except to give them an even clearer way to track them. His blog contained thinly veiled and sometimes confusing comparisons to his life. He referred to himself as ‘Mormon’ but regularly decried any kind of god. He claimed to have a various number of wives, and often spoke of getting rid of one or more of them. Mostly the blog was details of punishments he served them. His blog followers often encouraged it. Willow was mentioned often and it seemed the unsub was particularly fond of ‘him’. In one entry Alfred O’Malley talked in detail of how proud he was of Willow for embracing his identity as a crossdresser, and that he would begin using male pronouns for him since that was his preference. It was the first entry that seemed to be written with a tender note to it and his ‘fans’ mocked him brutally, especially since this was the first time they’d found out his harem was comprised of male-bodied persons. His response to one of the negative comments was a long string of ranting about how they all abducted and raped women together and if that didn’t make him a man, then what did?

The verdict was in, as far as Hotch was concerned. O’Malley was trying to dispel his own feelings of inadequacy about his gender by abusing women and forcing men to come out of the closet for his own sick amusement. He was then defining his masculinity by forcing them to abduct and rape women. His categorized abuse of them left them half in fear of and half in awe of him. Stockholme Syndrome at it’s finest. Add to that he could spot a closeted man or a well-to-do single woman from a mile away and they were certain they were dealing with someone who was extremely intelligent, possibly a self-taught profiler. 


	3. Chapter 3

“It’s Reid’s phone again,” Hotch spoke worriedly, and answered the phone, “Agent Hotchner.”

“Talk to me,” The voice whispered softly.

They’d followed Reid’s cell phone signal to a house where they’d broken down the door and found a bloodbath in the basement. Reid and Alfred O’Malley were long gone, but they found another room full of writing. This time it was even less cognitive. There were pictures of Hotchner scribbled over the walls, detailed drawings that were then smeared out or drawn over. They were uncertain if the work was all Reid’s or if the unsub had defaced the work. They were there now, trying to sort out the blood and vitriol so they could re-enact the scene once they knew who was where.

“I’m glad to hear you’re alive. What do you want to know? About the case? The profile?”

“How’s Jack?”

Hotch shut his eyes for a moment, resigned to the fact this was indeed his agent on the phone.

“He’s okay. Doing well in school. He’s scoring above his level so I’m trying to decide if I should move him up a grade. What do you think?”

“He’ll be bullied, but he’s strong. I think he’d do well.”

“Thank you, that’s reassuring,” Hotch replied, waiting for Garcia to let him know where Reid was, “How’s your day been?”

“Okay,” Reid replied, “I guess. The usual. Wake up, shower, and make breakfast. I’m thinking of doing a pot roast for dinner, but I’d have to go to the store.”

“Sounds fun, how about I meet you at the store?” Hotch replied, “We can shop together. I could use a snack.”

“I can’t, though. No ovens in hotels. He was angry about breakfast.”

“Hotels?”

“I only had bagels and cream cheese for him.”

“Alfred?” Hotch asked, “He took you to a hotel?”

“He made me a promise,” Reid told him softly, “He said I could see you one last time before he killed me.”

Hotch felt his stomach lurch, “I’m right here in San Diego. At the police station.”

“I want to see Jack, too.”

“Jack?” Hotch asked, his stomach twisting harshly, “Reid, you don’t want to get Jack involved in this.”

“No… you’re right. I don’t.”

“So don’t do that. Tell Alfred that we’re here and he’ll bring you to see me. I’ll meet you anywhere you want.”

“You could come to the hotel? I can only offer you sandwiches but…”

“Sandwiches are fine.”

“You still like roast beef and provolone?”

“Yes.”

“No mayo. Mustard.”

“Right, you remember.”

“Okay. Come on over, but come alone. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. He gets… angry.”

“Okay.”

XXX

It was so futile. They got to the hotel and Hotch went in with a wire on while his team and several SDPD surrounded the hotel and filled the halls. Reid was there. He was so calm. His movements were slightly feminine, but then they always had been.

“Aaron,” Reid smiled, eyes carefully lowered, “Come in, please come in.”

“Willow,” Hotch smiled, “Where’s your… husband?”

“In the bathroom, he’ll be out soon. He wanted to give us a moment.”

Reid was wearing a light blue dress that hung off his shoulders; his hair was just above his shoulders, shiny and far more maintained than he’d ever wear it normally. His face was basically the same except for the tasteful make-up, but his figure was softer than before. He didn’t appear to have grown breasts, but judging by when he’d ‘come out’ to O’Malley as a male crossdresser, the HRT might have been stopped early enough to prevent many changes to his body. 

“You look lovely,” Hotch admired honestly.

“Thank you,” Reid blushed prettily, “I do still like Spencer, by the way. It’s just that _he_ prefers Willow.”

“I’ll be careful not to anger him,” Hotch replied, “Would you mind doing me a favour?”

“Sure,” Reid smiled, “Anything.”

“Could you…” Hotch gestured to the exit and Reid’s eyes widened in panic.

“I… I can’t do that,” Reid replied, staggering back anxiously.

“Okay, that’s alright,” Hotch soothed instantly, hands raising to appear non-threatening, “It was just an idea.”

“Why would you ask me to do that? I couldn’t leave my _husband.”_

“I’m sorry, I…”

“We had _nothing_ , Hotch. I tried and you _pushed_ me _away_.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Hotch replied, “I never-“

“I think you should leave,” Reid stated, suddenly squaring his shoulders, although his eyes still remained anywhere but near Hotch’s eyes.

“What?” Hotch asked in surprise.

“I think you should leave,” Reid replied, “This was a bad idea. He’s just going to get jealous and…”

“Reid, come with me.”

“Hotch, I, I, I _can’t_. I’m _married_. I’m…”

“Reid,” Hotch stepped forward and quickly grabbed his upper arms tightly, going on a whim and hoping it would work, _“Run away with me_. I’ll protect you from him.”

Reid wavered. His lips parting with something between longing and fear in his eyes as he stared at Hotch’s lips, but then he shook his head worriedly, “He’d kill us both.”

“I’ll protect you. Come with me. I’ll get it right this time.”

They both winced. _Haley._

“You should go,” Reid whispered, tears starting up in his eyes.

“Not without you,” He coaxed gently, “Please.”

There was a moment of hesitation. Reid glanced at the bathroom. Then he shot forward, grabbed Hotch by the sides of his head, and pressed a hungry kiss to Hotch’s lips. For a moment Hotch froze, hands awkwardly on his shoulder, then he wrapped his arms around Reid and held him tightly for a moment, crushing soft cotton and hard angles against himself. He tilted his head and they had a moment of tangled tongues and clashing teeth before agents who misunderstood their intimacy for a physical struggle kicked in the door. Hotch wrestled a struggling Reid to the ground as Morgan kicked in the bathroom door. He was careful to hide his erection, but his agents were too astute to miss the rest of the signs of his arousal.

However, it wasn’t his arousal Reid was concerned about hiding. He was screaming in horror, thrashing in Hotch’s arms and trying desperately to escape. They tried for nearly half an hour to calm him before a medic sedated him and they took him to the nearest hospital.

The bathroom had been empty.

XXX

“What have we got?” Hotch asked JJ approached him with an anxious look on her face.

“The doctors say he’s got signs of sexual and physical abuse all over him; burns, rectal tears, piercings, you name it, but he’s also showing signs of medical treatment over time. While they examined him he told them that he had developed and was treated for an STD some months ago: most likely gonorrhoea. A doctor gave him antibiotics and also treated O’Malley and one other ‘wife’.”

“What doctor? Where?”

“Reid was blindfolded there and back. He says he’s willing to try and drive it, but there’s something you should know.”

“What’s that?” Hotch asked.

“Some of the blood results came back from the house. One of them wasn’t one of the missing persons.”

“So we’re thinking what?” Hotch asked.

JJ gave him a startled look and Hotch stared at her quietly for a moment until she responded, “We’re thinking it’s the unsub.”s

“Okay,” Hotch nodded, “So how much blood are we talking about?”

“Enough to make us believe he’s dead and has been for days. At least since the first call. Possibly…” JJ hesitated, “Possibly since before the last victim was kidnapped depending on if he was left to bleed out slowly or not. It was difficult to determine since the basement was wet and the blood was layered.”

“Was the last kidnap victim’s blood there?”

“No,” She replied, “No sign of him.”

“So we’re looking at Reid for the last kidnapping and the brutal slaughter of his ‘husband’ and fellow ‘wives’,” Hotch finished.

“The last victim found alive said that ze was discarded because ze refused to rape someone. It’s possible Reid was being abused by several of them rather than just O’Malley. He may have been defending himself.”

“I doubt that extends to abducting someone else,” Hotch replied.

“You’re distracted.”

“Our team member is in a hospital bed staring at the ceiling and shaking because an unsub forcibly feminized and abused him. You tell me how okay with this you are.”

“I’m not, but you’re losing focus,” JJ replied, “We need to be able to help him.”

“You said abuse, but how far did it go?” Hotch replied, “Will he need surgery?”

“Are you asking me if his genitals were removed? Hotch,” JJ grabbed his arm, “How deep into this are you? Were you and Reid involved?”

“Very well, I’ll ask him myself.”

“No,” JJ replied, “According to his blog O’Malley only removed them from the more dominant men. Reid’s submissive. So what _is_ this?”

“He told me he had feelings for me the day he went missing,” Hotch confessed, staring miserably down at JJ, “And I told him off for being unprofessional. He ran out the door to the precinct and that was the last time we saw him until today.”

“This wasn’t your fault…” JJ started.

“I only freaked out at him because I wasn’t ready yet, JJ,” Hotch replied, choking back tears, “I had feelings for him too, but I felt like he was disrespecting Haley by telling me so soon. I had no idea he was trying to tell me that he fit the profile.”

“Oh, Hotch,” JJ sighed, pulling him in for a hug.

When they separated Hotch looked back in through the doorway to Reid’s room and froze in alarm.

The bed was empty. Reid was gone. 


	4. Chapter 4

“How the _hell_ did he get out?!” Hotch asked in shock.

“He’s basically a magician with a computer for a brain,” Morgan replied, “He slipped the restraints, grabbed some medicine, and fled out the door.”

“JJ and I were standing right in the doorway,” Hotch replied, “He couldn’t have gotten past us.”

“Well the windows don’t open,” JJ replied in frustration.

“This is Reid we’re talking about,” Morgan replied, “He outlived the other victims. He’s in survival mode and we’re not sure if he’s got help or another hostage. Hotch, there was an update to the blog while Reid was in here. It was made from _inside_ the hospital. It talks about how O’Malley is sick of his harem and all the henpecking and whining they do so he decided to kill them off. He also mentions that one of them was beginning to frighten him, that ‘Willow’ was telling O’Malley that he’d done things on his orders when O’Malley _wasn’t around_ to give those orders. The unsub is scared of him. _The unsub_. We need to profile Reid, and we need to profile him as someone entirely new to us.”

“We need distance,” JJ replied, “We shouldn’t even be on this case.”

“Strauss feels we’re the best option,” Hotch replied, “ _How_ the hell did he get out?”

“What did he take?” Prentiss asked, jogging up to them. She’d been out in the field looking at the hotel room with Rossi. They easily had the most objectivity and everyone was aware of it.

“A two month supply of HRT for one person, antibiotics, cough medicine with codeine, Viagra, and three different anti-psychotics,” JJ replied, “Garcia is running them and I was about to check in with her.”

JJ made the call while Hotch, Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi argued about a profile. Hotch was having trouble thinking of Reid as a criminal and admitted he was losing focus. Rossi was trying to get his perspective back for him.

“Guys!” JJ called, “Guys, you need to hear this.”

JJ flicked the phone over to speaker and Garcia began to rattle out facts.

“Those same combinations in varying doses have been stolen repeatedly over the last year from several other hospitals. In each situation a transwoman checked into the hospital after being raped. She was tested, given medication, had a rape kit performed, offered counselling, and then escaped with large quantities of drugs. A fake name and ID was used in case, but they were crossing city and county lines so the systems didn’t catch them. Willow O’Maley was one name that came up more than once.”

“Why anti-psychotics?” Hotch asked, “What would he need them for?”

“The anti-psychotics were added to the list only three months ago,” Garcia replied, “You could make a whole list of nasty illegal substances out of this combo, but I’m not so sure they’re using or selling like that.”

“What do you mean?” Morgan asked.

“I think the anti-psychotics are for one of them just like the rest are. Think about it. One of the potential side effects of hormone replacement therapy in transwomen is an inability to get an erection. If he’s having them rape women, each other, or have sex with each other they’d need to counter that. Then you’ve got the fact that lots of random sex can be, you know, squicky. So anti-biotics. The cough medicine is either for when they get sick or for subduing his big strong male-slash-transgal harem, and the anti-psychotics are for… well… Reid… who has been freaking him out with his creepiness according to his last post.”

“So Reid is self-medicating,” Hotchner replied, “That means he’s aware that he’s losing his grip on reality.”

“Assuming he is,” Garcia put in, “The blog post took place in the hospital he was in, but that doesn’t mean it was him. The post required someone to hack the password. I took a look at it, it’s not overly complicated, but Reid’s anti-tech. I don’t think he’d be up to it even if he were acting out O’Malley’s behaviour.”

“You think Alfred’s alive?” Hotch asked, “Because we’re not certain that’s the case.”

“I’m going over security cameras but I haven’t found anyone suspicious, but here’s the thing. Everyone is walking around in scrubs and we never found out exactly what O’Malley looked like. We had an old, old photo from his first arrest, but then he started going by aliases and having cosmetic surgery, and he went off the grid for a while. Just finding that first _house_ was a fluke.”

“So you’re thinking he’s walked right past us and we haven’t seen him,” Hotchner growled.

“That’s my current theory, but hey, you guys are the hot-shot-profilers.”

“You’re still monitoring Reid’s cell phone?” Rossi asked.

“Daily, nightly, and ever so rightly. His cell phone, credit cards, everything Reid. If he makes a single move with either identity then I will know it.”

“Good,” Hotch nodded.

XXX

Reid let his head fall back onto the headrest, the wind in his hair a bold comfort. He’d missed Las Vegas for all that he didn’t understand most of the vice there. Alfred managed to drift off at the wheel and Reid jolted upright at the sound of a horn blaring loudly.

“Do you want me to drive?”

“Yeah,” Alfred sighed, pulling over the car, “Let’s switch seats. You know this area better than me.”

Reid climbed into the driver’s seat and they pulled back out into traffic. The loud thumping in the trunk was reassuring to him. He’d strapped some ice water into the bottom of the trunk and placed a bag of ice at his back, but he couldn’t be sure the hot Nevada heat wouldn’t kill him anyway. Still, he’d do his best to preserve the poor man’s life for as long as possible. Hotch and the rest were on the trail now, and if they worked fast enough perhaps there wouldn’t have to be any more deaths.

XXX

“Go ahead, Garcia,” Hotch stated into the phone.

They were in the middle of re-enacting the murders of the last of Reid’s sister wives and it seemed to them that Reid hadn’t been involved in their deaths, but had perhaps come down at the end of the situation and reacted out of horror at seeing his lovers dead.

“You’re going to love this, O great and fearless leader. Reid’s credit card- his original one under his name- was used at a gas station in Las Vegas Nevada. I have a visual of him in a _very_ stylish sundress and sunhat, tied on with a scarf, getting out of a white convertible and heading inside. There he bought some munchies and an iced coffee, a couple of bags of ice, and then blew the camera a kiss.”

“Blew the camera a kiss?” Hotch snorted, “He knows we’re watching. He must have found a way to switch out his credit card for the unsubs while he wasn’t working.”

“Good old magic card tricks!” Morgan cheered, “Good old Reid!”

“Sir, there’s just one thing,” Garcia stated carefully.

“What is it?” Hotch asked, bracing himself.

“The car was empty from start to finish. No other person with Reid.”

“The ice could be someone being transported in the trunk,” Prentiss pointed out, “Maybe O’Malley doesn’t want to risk being seen _at all_.”

“If there’s someone in the trunk it’s probably our latest abduction victim,” Morgan pointed out.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Garcia replied, “But, but, but Reid wouldn’t hurt anyone. He’s as docile as a lamb.”

“Our lamb may have grown horns,” Prentiss spoke softly.

“We don’t doubt him till we have all the facts,” Hotch replied, getting up into her face, “You hear me? He’s our _teammember_.”

Prentiss nodded, “I understand, sir. I’m sorry.”

Hotch turned to leave the basement and Prentiss and Rossi exchanged worried looks.

“I know,” Rossi spoke softly, “We just have to weather this out and stop him before he does something stupid.”

“I’m not so sure we aren’t too late for that,” Prentiss replied miserably.

“Join the team,” Morgan replied, “I don’t think JJ and I have much more sanity where Reid is involved.”

“I _know_ I don’t,” JJ replied, “He’s like my little _brother_. He’s Henry’s Godfather. I can’t even figure out how you two aren’t a wreck.”

“We are,” Rossi reassured her, “We’re just woefully used to this type of nightmare.”

Prentiss nodded miserably, “It still hurts, we’re just pushing it aside to focus on finding Reid.”

Hotch was outside catching some air when the next call came in from Reid.

“Aaron Hotchner,” Hotch answered.

“Aaron?” Reid asked with a soft laugh, “Not agent?”

“I’m not feeling much like an agent right now. Reid, our profile shows that you’ve had a psychotic break. That you killed your so called ‘husband’ and kidnapped a new hostage in order to continue the pattern you’ve been forced to live for the last year.”

“That’s an interesting theory,” Reid replied.

“You don’t think it’s accurate?”

“If I thought I was completely sane I wouldn’t be following a preset routine or stealing anti-psychotics.”

“Reid, turn yourself in. We’ll get you the help you need.”

“Not until I know,” Reid replied.

“Know what?” Hotch asked.

“If I’m broken.”

“Broken in what way?” Hotchner asked.

“If I’m going to become a serial killer,” Reid replied, matter of factly, “Or a rapist. I doubt the second, but my obsession with you is pretty alarming.”

“Then let’s test it on the source,” Hotch replied.

Reid was silent for a moment, and then spoke up, “Where do you want to do this?”

“Your call, you’re the abductor.”

“I think I’d rather surprise you.”

“That might not be a good idea,” Hotchner reminded him, “I’m a good deal more athletic than you… no offense.”

“None taken, but I’ve gotten pretty used to taking people down over the last year.”

“Women,” Hotch replied, “Now _I’m_ insulted.”

“Don’t be,” Reid replied, “I’m probably becoming overconfident due to my advanced devolvement.”

“I think you’re too logical to be devolving. I think you just need to be reset. Reminded of who you are.”

“Is that how you’ll approach me once I have you tied to a bed?”

“I’d prefer to be the one doing the tying.”

Silence, then a shaky breath, “Oh, that’s… good.”

“Perhaps you’d prefer _me_ to do the abducting.”

“What… what would that entail, exactly?”

“I thought we agreed abductor’s choice,” Hotch replied, feeling an alarming stir of arousal.

“Well then,” Reid said softly, “May the best unsub win.”

The call ended, “Garcia, you get all that?”

“Yes, sir. Very 50 Shades of you, by the way.”

“Fifty what?”

“Never mind,” Hotch replied, “Boost that picture of the missing man. He’s going to appear on a roadside soon.”

“You think Reid’s going to let him go?” Garcia asked worriedly.

“I know he is,” Hotch replied firmly. 


	5. Chapter 5

“I’m sorry,” Reid told the man as he helped him out of the trunk.

“Just don’t kill me, please,” Eric Fling begged.

“You’re just not my type, you know?” Reid sighed, “I thought you would be. You’re strong, a body builder, A-type personality, probably a bit of a bully when you were younger. Except when I took you you didn’t even _try_ to dominate me. You just… caved in and _whimpered_.”

“What are you going to do with me?” The man asked miserably. He was drenched in sweat and shaking, his back white from the cold of the ice despite the blankets Reid had wrapped them in.

“I’m going to leave you here. It’s what he’ll expect.”

“The m-man you speak to?” Eric guessed.

“Yeah. I have a question for you, Eric.”

“O-okay?” Eric snivelled, his nose running miserably.

“Do you see him too?”

Eric’s eyes moved behind Reid’s shoulder to the passenger seat of the car and he made a terrified whimpering noise.

“Do you see him too?” Reid asked insistently.

“Y-yes,” Eric replied.

“I need you to be _honest_ with me,” Reid replied, “Your answer will not effect whether or not I leave you here safe and unchained. Do. You. See. Him?”

“No,” the man sobbed, “No, you’ve been alone this whole time.”

“Was he there when I kidnapped you?”

“No.”

“Have you been raped since you’ve been with me?”

“No.”

“Honesty, please.”

“No,” The man replied, his voice a bit calmer, “You didn’t rape me and neither did anyone else. _Was_ there someone? Those bodies I carried out...”

“Yeah,” Reid nodded, “He abducted me a year ago and has been raping and torturing me ever since, including gang rape by those people you carried out. I believe I may have had a psychotic break a few months ago and created an imaginary version of my assailant for the times he was paying attention to others.”

“Y-you gonna be okay?” The man asked, “Maybe… get some help?”

“Yeah,” Reid nodded, “Help is on the way. For both of us.”

The man’s eyes widened and he backed up a bit in fear, but it was a cell phone he pulled from his pocket. He dialled 911 and placed the phone in his hand while uncuffing him.

“Go ahead,” Reid smiled softly, “Talk to them. They’ll help you.”

Eric put the phone to his ear and spoke to the operator while Reid hopped into the car and drove off. Garcia would trace the call and get to Eric before the medics did, but by then he’d have a new car and a fresh trail to lay.

XXX

“Go ahead, Garcia,” Hotch ordered.

“Reid’s cell is out of play, but his cards are still active. He stopped at a bank and did a cash advance that emptied it out, giving me some camera winking again. Pretty pink dress this time, he’s really got some taste in-“

“Garcia?” Hotch asked, his tone full of warning.

“He’s in Kansas.”

“That’s out of the previous unsub’s hunting ground,” Rossi pointed out.

“He’s not hunting,” Hotch replied, “He’s going home.”

“To Quantico?” JJ asked, “Good. They’ll send him straight to the nearest psychiatric facility.”

“Yeah, and throw away the key,” Prentiss pointed out.

JJ winced and Hotch shook his head, “This isn’t good. He should be coming after me. _I_ was the focus. Instead he’s heading back to Virginia.”

“Either it’s an open cry to chase him or…” Morgan let the sentence hang.

“Or he’s going after leverage,” Hotch finished.

“Oh my gods, Jack,” JJ breathed, “He wouldn’t! He loves him!”

“Exactly,” Hotch replied, “But he’s delusional right now, and he’s hallucinating a man who controlled, brutalized, and raped him for a year. A _jealous_ man, Reid said.”

“Someone who was probably seriously pissed about Reid hanging onto his obsession with you long after he had him,” Morgan noted.

“He never broke Reid,” Prentiss continued, “In the end Reid won him over, wore him down, got him to postpone his murder indefinitely until Reid had the advantage and took it, killing his own bogey man, but the nightmare didn’t go away. Now he has to reconcile that, and there are only two ways to do that. Become like the unsub or sink deeper into what the unsub tried to make him.”

“The perfect wife?”

“No, the perfect _submissive_ ,” Hotch replied, “Reid never met my eyes when I visited him. He glanced towards my face, but never met my eyes. He was feminine, but not overly so. This was never about making men like women, or dragging them out of the closet, those were just part of it. This was always about making O’Malley feel like a man, so now Reid’s going to need to accomplish that, but his focus has been shifted to me. And what’s my number one priority in life? Not getting powerful people to bow to me, hell no, I’ve got that in spades if I want it. It’s Jack. Jack who is currently motherless.”

“So he’s going to _your_ place?” Prentiss asked, “To… _mother_ Jack? Your sister-in-law is with him, right?”

“Yes, and we have some protocol in place. Reid has a headstart on us but if we get in the jet now we can beat him to Virginia,” Hotch replied, “I’ll call Jessica and warn her to hide Jack fast. Did we get a picture of his car from the bank?”

“No, but I am checking traffic cams as we speak. Something will turn up,” Garcia replied.

“Do it. When you find something put out an APB on the car. We need to corral this before it gets even more out of control,” Hotch ordered.

They hurried to the jet and shot back over to Virginia, but when they got there Reid had vanished off the grid again. They kept up a hyper vigilance for a while, but eventually tension becomes too much for even the most seasoned agent and they slowly began to relax. On occasion Hotch would think he saw Reid pass him on a crowded street, but when he looked again the figure was gone without a trace. Months passed and they didn’t hear from him again. The team was silently mourning him and carefully watching for any rapes or murders that fit his profile.

Then Hotchner didn’t show up for work.


	6. Chapter 6

Hotch had just returned from a three day trip to Florida where they’d managed to arrest a man who was training alligators there to attack people. He was tired and sad. He’d missed Reid on this trip. Every time they needed a random fact they’d had to look it up themselves or bother Garcia. By the end of the trip she’d been snapping at them about how she couldn’t do to jobs, just like after losing JJ and for the first couple of months after they’d lost Reid. Some cases were just like that. They needed Reid back.

So when Hotch unlocked the door to his apartment and saw Reid’s figure outlined in a cotton dress standing by his stove stirring a pot his first reaction was to smile. His second was to feel a wrenching sensation in his gut and look around in a panic. Jack was sitting on the couch watching television. When he saw his father he let out a happy whoop and flew towards him. His behaviour seemed normal, so Hotch scooped him up and held him tightly, intending to act as normal as possible.

“Hello, Spencer,” Hotch stated, “What are you making?”

“Some broth,” Reid replied, “I thought I’d make soup tomorrow, but you didn’t have any broth so I took some celery hearts off the celery in the fridge and a few other bits of veggies and am making a vegetable broth from scratch.”

“Wow,” Hotch replied, forcing his smile back in place, “That’s…”

Before he could finish Reid turned with a broad smile, eyes still downcast, and strode forward to press a kiss to his cheek, “Welcome home.”

Hotch was startled for a moment, having turned defensively to angle Jack away from him, and simply stared at Reid while Jack giggled at them.

“Spence... where’s Jessica?”

“No idea,” Reid frowned, “I think we should stop using her to watch Jack. He was here all by himself when I came home. I asked where she was and he said she left sometimes. Then she popped up about an hour ago, but when I tried to ask her where she’d been she got angry and left.”

“She thought Spencer was your _girlfriend_ ,” Jack told them in a teasing voice, “She got mad.”

“Because she thought Spencer was my girlfriend?” Hotch asked, “That doesn’t sound right. Let me give her a call…”

Hotch reached for his mobile, but Reid snatched it up and tossed it over his shoulder. Hotch stared at the splash it made as it landed in the pot full of broth.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Reid folded his arms across his chest, “We haven’t seen each other in _ages_. You’re spending time with _us_ , mister. No phone calls. No cases. Just us.”

“You sound like…” Hotch cut himself off. Comparing his wanna-be, possibly insane, lover to his ex wife was _not_ a good idea, “What’s for dinner tonight?”

“Pot roast,” Reid grinned, turning to the oven and pulling it open to show the roast bubbling in it’s own juices and surrounded by roasting vegetables.

“Wow!” Jack cheered.

“That smells fantastic,” Hotch admitted.

“Jack,” Reid stated, reaching out and petting the lad’s hair while Hotch barely restrained himself from jerking him back, “Why don’t you go wash up for dinner. It will be done soon.”

“Okay!” Jack chirped.

Jack hopped down from Hotch’s arms and took off for the bathroom while Hotch tried to think of a way to get the situation under control. The profile was running through their head over and again, his mind turning over the particulars of Reid’s abuse. He was a submissive who was looking for a new dominant partner to anchor him after his previous one had re-written his entire mentality and forcibly feminized him. He’d embraced the feminine side he’d been hiding for so long, but Reid was also embracing the dangerous aspects. He had to redirect him.

“Spencer,” Hotch spoke, heading for him with the intention of taking control of the situation, but at that moment Jack came barrelling back announcing that he was hungry.

“Great!” Reid smiled, “Dinner’s ready. You wanna help me set the table, buddy?”

“Okay!” Jack replied eagerly, and the two of them set about making a table for three. Hotchner watched as Reid broke out a bottle of wine for himself and Hotch and a glass of milk for Jack.

They all sat down to dinner while Hotch tried to measure the risk of the food being poisoned against the risk of potentially causing a violent mood swing in Reid. He hadn’t profiled Reid as a poisoner- generally a feminine trait- but Reid’s submissiveness and forced feminization might add up to poisoning as a potential weapon. Of course, he had no reason to actually _poison_ them. Finally, mid carving the roast while Reid dolled out the vegetables, he decided that the food was safe and they all sat down to eat. He hurried to take the first bite and it tasted fine… not that a genius like Reid wasn’t capable of disguising poison. Jack dug in and he tried to let his fears go, but it was tensing him up horribly. He decided quelling his curiousity might help and sipped anxiously at the wine in the hopes of giving himself a calmer head. After all, he wasn’t on duty. If he wanted wine to calm his nerves there was no harm in it.

“So, Spence,” Hotch started carefully, “Where have you been? I thought you’d have been back to Virginia ages ago.”

“I got caught up,” Reid frowned at his plate, “I doubled back intending to confront you in San Diego but you’d left. Followed my false trail. I turned myself in at San Diego but Strauss swept in and tidied it all up. They locked me up in a facility. It took me a while to talk my way out.”

 

“Are you taking your medication?” HOtch asked, noticing he’d said talk his way out not talk his way through things.

“Yes,” Reid nodded, “Sometimes when I’m severely distressed I still see him, but even when I see him it’s okay because I know he’s not real and I’m able to focus on that now.”

“That you know of,” Hotch pointed out, “It really requires an outside perspective and it sounds to me as if you manipulated your doctors. Especially seeing you here in this situation. I’d rather have you see a trained psychiatrist and oversee your treatment myself.”

“I probably know more about psychiatric care than-“

“REID!”

Jack and Reid both jumped and Reid’s hand holding the fork began to shake.

“I’m sorry,” Reid said softly, “I’ll do what you say. Your happiness is my reason for living.”

“I’d rather your own was,” Hotch said softly, “But that will do for now.”

For the first time in nearly a year and a half Reid’s eyes lifted to meet Hotch’s, a glimmer of confusion and worry flashing through them along with a bit of something indefinable. Lust? Hope? Relief? Hotch went back to eating, effectively ending the conversation by breaking the tentative eye contact, and they resumed their meal in silence.

Reid got up after their meal to fetch dessert- a simple Jell-O pudding- Hotch shifted uncomfortably as one of those spontaneous erections made itself known. That was when he had an idea, and a glance over at Reid who was carefully studying him through his curled eyelashes in between spooning chocolate and whip cream into dishes confirmed it. A blush coloured his cheeks and Hotch knew how he could get Jack out of the house. He stood up and walked up to Reid where he stood in the kitchen and slipped his hands around his waist. Reid’s breath stuttered as Hotchner’s erection pressed against his backside. Hotch nuzzled just beneath his ear and Reid whimpered and pushed back against him, fumbling a spoon in the process. The whisper of fabric against his leg was intoxicating.

“You know what we need?” Hotch asked with a soft smile, “Some time alone.”

Reid smiled a bit, “I’ll put Jack to bed…”

“No, I think we need a bit more privacy than that, don’t you?” Hotch asked with a nip to his earlobe, “Where’s the house phone?”

Reid hesitated and then went to the cabinets, pulling out his bag from an upper cabinet. The rattle of pills caught Hotch’s attention. _He’s keeping them out of Jack’s reach. He’s concerned for my son’s safety. The fact discussing Jack gets me a phone is indicative of…_

“Here,” Reid handed him the handset to the wireless house phone and Hotch accepted it, dialling Jessica’s number from memory while smiling at Reid warmly. She answered, so at least now he was sure that Reid hadn’t done anything untoward to her, yet she’d been gone when he got there? Or at the very least left when he arrived? Leaving Jack with someone she didn’t know? Something very odd was going on.

“Hey, Jessy-poo!” Hotch stated with false cheer, while mentally ordering her to remember the verbal signals he’d coached her about in order to keep Jack safe, “I need you to swing by and pick up Jack. I have a case to handle and it’s going to be a long one.”

“Aaron you… wait… okay… um… I’ll be right by. N-no problem.”

Hotch hung up the phone, and adjusted his erection to hide it, “I’m going to help Jack get packed up. Why don’t you go into the bedroom and… put on something nice.”

Hotch headed for Jack’s room, his attitude speaking of expectation of obedience. Once there he goaded the frustrated child into picking a toy or two to take to his aunt’s house and coaxed him to the door.

“But I want to stay here with you and Spencer!” Jack wailed for the hundredth time.

“I told you,” Hotch replied with utmost patience, “I have a case and it’s urgent, now you want to help me, don’t you? I need you to look after your aunt.”

“No you don’t,” Jack pouted, “You just want me to go without whining.”

“That’s true,” Hotch nodded, “You’re very observant. When did you get so smart, hm?”

Jack shrugged and Jessica knocked at the door. Hotch answered it and quickly ushered Jack towards the door. He glanced over his shoulder, hoping to escape with Jack, but Reid was standing there smiling a bit. He was wrapped in a robe. Jessica saw him and a scowl stretched over her face.

“Damn it, Hotch! I thought Jack was in danger!”

“Jessica,” Hotch stated, in his best negotiator voice, “You need to listen to me-“

“ _Jessy-poo?!_ Wasn’t that supposed to mean ‘get Jack out of the house, act natural, call for help afterwards’ or are you just _drunk_.”

“No, I’m not drunk this is-“

“I can see the wine _right there!”_ She screamed, “I’m sick of this, Aaron! I don’t mind helping, but it’s _all the time_. I can see now why Haley divorced you!”

“Excuse me?” Hotch asked, anger flickering through the part of him he needed calm. He immediately tamped it down, “Jessica I need you to take Jack and-“

“I need a _life_!” Jessica screamed, “I haven’t been on a date in _years_ , Aaron! Years! I love Jack, but I want a family of my own!”

“Jessica I need you to focus!” Hotch shouted.

“I need you to go to hell!” Jessica shouted, and then turned to storm off.

“Jessica!” Hotch shouted after her. The neighbours were peeping out of doors, but before Hotch could shove Jack out the door and tell him to run a hand closed on his shoulder. The other hand was on Jack’s shoulder. Hotch didn’t dare shout for help.

“Aaron? I think it’s Jack’s bedtime. Don’t you?” Reid asked.

Hotch turned around, “You let her see you on purpose.”

“Of course I did. That dominant display? Flirting with me? It was obviously a ruse meant to trigger my trained behaviour from captivity. And Jessy-poo just confirmed it. The Hotch I know wouldn’t call anyone that, not even someone they knew as a child.”

Hotch replied, “And yet you still can’t meet my eyes.”

“I’m likely an undiagnosed autistic,” Reid replied, “I had to be _taught_ to make eye contact as a child. Freddy beat that out of me. It’s likely going to take me as long or longer to relearn that skill.”

Hotch was keyed up by the time he got Jack to brush his teeth and go to bed. He’d read him only one book despite his begging. Only the fear that this might be the last time they saw each other kept him from losing his temper. He left Jack’s bedroom and carefully placed a chair beneath his doorknob to keep him from coming out in case he heard something during the night. He’d tried wrapping his brain around it over and again but there was just no way out of this. Reid might be safe or he might not, he was just going to have to take his chances. If he could keep up the ruse until after he was expected at work then his co-workers would come looking for him.

“Wow,” Reid chuckled behind him, “You must be loud in bed.”

Hotch straightened up, “I don’t want him to see anything.”

“Yeah, kids shouldn’t be exposed to sex until adolescents or later. That is, of course, assuming you _do_ want to have sex with me?”

Hotch cocked his head to one side, “I have a choice?”

“Of… of _course_ you have a choice,” Reid looked alarmed, eyes flicking up at him before wandering off again, “I’m not here to _rape_ you. You said you’d help me. You said you’d help me figure out if I’m broken or not. I got help. I’m medicated. I’m STD free. Now we’re re-enacting… aren’t we?”

Hotchner turned more fully to face him, “I’ve not been playing my role well, have I?”

“It’s been fine,” Reid replied.

“It should be better than fine, talk to me. What have your urges been since you’ve been here?”

“I have some Viagra with me. I thought about dosing your wine. Then I thought about Jack and decided not to. Then it occurred to me that dosing your wine was a non-consensual act and felt guilty for it. Then you flirted with me and I was incredibly aroused. Freddy rarely let me ejaculate. I was almost always in a chastity belt, even during sex.”

“I was under the impression he had his wives having sex with each other,” Hotchner frowned.

“He did, but I was never allowed to top. I was the only one who identified as a man once my ‘gender therapy’ was through. He said only eunuchs were allowed around harem wives, but his sole attempt at removing testicles had backfired- the person wouldn’t stop bleeding and he’d eventually just choked hir to death rather than deal with it- so I was spared that horror. He did try to force me to rape a woman once, but I couldn’t maintain an erection even with the Viagra in my system. I think it was panic.”

“But they penetrated you?” Hotch asked carefully.

“Yes,” Reid swallowed hard, “Sometimes it felt good, but it usually didn’t. It depended on if they stimulated my prostate enough to milk it and relieve some pressure.”

“And since you’ve been free of him? Have you been able to focus on pleasure at all?”

“I… I masturbated once while I was in the facility but I had a panic attack afterwards. They had to sedate me.”

“So you’re hesitant to receive pleasure,” Hotch replied, “Why don’t we work on that? I think that bottle of wine is calling my name.”

Hotch sat on one side of the couch while Reid sat on the other. Hotch sipped some wine and watched as Reid hesitantly parted his robe. His cock was already hard, outlined in pink lace boyshort panties. Hotch swallowed hard. It had been years since he’d thought about men. Not since he and Haley had taken a break from their relationship in college and he’d gone on a sex binge, chasing down anyone willing until he’d realized that she was the only person for him in the world. Of course, Reid had been a toddler at that point in time.

“We need a new focus for your sexual outlet,” Hotch stated softly.

“I want _you_ as my focus,” Reid replied, his voice shaking as he stared down at his tented knickers, “I’m clean. I’ve been tested. Twice.”

“I’ll likely produce a guilt or panic reaction due to your-“

“I want _you_.”

Hotch hesitated a moment, “Very well. What do you find most stimulating about me?”

“Your voice.”

“Dominance has been a primary aspect of your sex life for some time now, do you want that to continue?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe something similar?”

“What about comfort?” Hotch asked, “What would make you feel safe here?”

“You.”

“What about me makes you feel safe?”

“You protect me. Guide me.”

“I’m like a father to you,” Hotch stated.

“No,” Reid frowned, “No, you’re… everything I wanted to be and wasn’t as a kid. You’re the embodiment of the people who bullied me, growing to respect and value me.”

“I do respect and value you,” Hotch nodded, “I also find you very attractive. I should warn you it’s been years since I was with a man.”

“That’s okay,” Reid replied with a teasing smile, “I’ve got enough experience for the both of us.”

“I think we should see how comfortable you are touching yourself before we take that step,” Hotch smiled, “Go on. Show me. I’m right here if you panic.”

Reid took a tentative breath and then reached down to palm his erection. He spent a few moments just touching himself through the fabric, head back and moaning a bit. When his eyes opened he glanced at Hotch, but he mostly kept them closed. By the time he slid his underwear down his cock was leaking profusely and the head was flushed. Aaron swallowed hard. He was unprepared for the level of arousal _he_ was feeling. He shifted his erection and let himself palm it a bit to keep his tension down.

Reid saw it and let out heated groan, grasping at himself as his balls drew up tight to his body. Hotch’s eyes widened as he realized that Reid was close to orgasm just from what little they’d done.

Then Reid’s eyes widened in horror and he let out a shout of fear, struggling to get away from something over Hotch’s shoulder. Hotch instinctively stood but there was nothing and no one there.

“No! Don’t hurt him!” Reid cried out, pouncing on Hotch and tackling him to the floor.

“He’s not there, Reid! He’s _not there!_ ”

Hotch rolled them over and pinned Reid down before it occurred to him that it would only distress him further. Sure enough, Reid started to struggle, sobbing and writhing in terror while Hotch tried and failed to calm him. Jack was shouting from his room and this was getting out of hand. He grabbed the lamp from the table beside the couch and lifted it over his head.

“Where is he Reid? Tell me where he is?”

“Th-there!” Reid pointed above his head and Hotch watched in horror as his eyes rolled and his neck purpled. Capularies along his throat and shoulders were popping in psychosomatic reaction to his hallucinatory assault. Hotch made his decision and slammed the lamp down above Reid’s head.

Reid jumped and looked up.

“Where is he now?”

“S-same spot, a but further away.”

Hotch slammed the lamp down over and again until it was a broken metal mess in his hands before casting it aside. He ran to the dining room, snatched up a chair and broke it violently against the ground. Half of him was hoping the neighbours would call the police while the rest wanted the night uninterrupted by either police or Reid’s madness.

“He’s mine!” Hotch shouted at the room, “You can’t have him any more he’s _mine!”_

Reid stared up at Hotch for a moment. His face had returned to a normal colour, but the bruises would take time to heal.

“Are you okay?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah.”

“Anything broken?”

“I don’t think so, no. Jack’s crying.”

“I’ll be right back. Get comfortable.”

Hotch soothed Jack’s fear by telling him he’d stepped on the remote and a scary movie had come on. The lad was given a drink of water and snuggled back into bed. He turned on his music so he wouldn’t be disturbed again. Hotch returned to Reid with a frown on his face. He was still lying on the floor amidst the wreckage of a lamp and a chair. He looked too afraid to move.

“You know what? I’m done pussyfooting around your brain,” Hotch snarled.

Reid’s eyes widened as Hotch pounced on him, jerked his robe open to stare down at a pink lacy nighty similar to the one he’d found in Reid’s suitcase so long ago, shoved it up, and swallowed the young man’s half-hard cock down. Reid gasped and writhed beneath him, nearly choking Hotch. He pinned the subs hips down and set about sucking him off fast and hard, his head bobbing while his fingers bit into his hips. Reid cried out and scratched at his scalp as he pulsed in Hotch’s mouth. Hotch swallowed him down, stroking his bollocks as he milked the last of his orgasm from him. Reid lay trembling on the floor, eyes squeezed tightly shut as Hotch jerked his fly open, pulled his cock out, and took himself firmly in hand. He had been aroused over and again too many times that night. It took next to no time for him to pulse out his release across Reid’s body, using his hand to milk the last few drops and then smearing it across his torso, up beneath the nighty onto his chest, then over his face.

“Now you’re mine,” Hotch growled. He pressed his fingers into Reid’s mouth and he moaned softly, suckling the sticky substance from his fingers. Then he suddenly jerked his head away, eyes flashing in fear as he turned his head towards the couch.

“Shhh, it’s okay Spencer,” Hotch soothed, crawling over his body to let his weight sooth him, “You were beautiful. I wanted you to come like that. I needed you relaxed. Just breathe.”

Reid took a few slow, deep breaths until he could stop clenching his muscles. He was still trembling minutely but his eyes eased open and met Hotch’s fully for the first time.

“That felt so, so good,” Reid whispered.

“It’s supposed to,” Hotch smiled, but then recalled that Reid hadn’t been taught that, “Spence, were you a virgin when he took you?”

Reid’s eyes fled away from him, staring down at his chest, “According to my therapists I still am. They said virginity can only be given away, not taken.”

“They’re right, of course,” Hotch nodded, “And you don’t have to give it to me. Not tonight and not ever. Not unless you want to.”

“I do,” Reid replied, eyes closing for a moment as his body arched, “I want you to touch me everywhere they did until I can’t feel their hands on me anymore.”

“Well,” Hotch replied, running his hands along Reid’s sticky body, “In that case I think I’m ready to consent to the Viagra now. I may not have issues with getting or maintaining an erection, but a sex marathon is about ten years out of my league.”

Reid chuckled a bit and Hotch basked in it, helping him to his feet and guiding him back to his bag. He pulled out several bottles, found the right one, and held it out to Hotch.

“I’ll just take a half,” Hotch decided.

“It takes a bit to take effect,” Ried replied, squirming a bit. His pupils were blown.

 _Ah, youth_ , Hotch thought, but out loud he said, “We’ll shower in the mean time.”

“I’ll take the other half.”

“I doubt you’ll need it,” Hotch smirked, cupping his already swollen cock again, “You’re likely to make it several times tonight without need of aid.”

“My medicine makes me less libidinous,” Reid worried.

“Good,” Hotch replied, “I won’t feel completely inadequate.”

Reid gifted him with a rather cute giggle and he slid the robe off his shoulders so he could admire the nightgown beneath it as he tugged Reid towards the bathroom. He teased the silk across his sides and groped his ass through it, pulling him against himself and sinking into a heated kiss. Reid moaned against his mouth, wrapping his arms around Hotch’s shoulders and pressing close.

“Okay, this is hot,” Hotch breathed as he pulled away, “I’ve never been into the guys in drag thing, but silk and your ass clearly go together.”

Reid buried his face against Hotch’s shoulder as he blushed, “Thank you.”

Hotch opened the door behind his back and walked him into the bathroom, kissing his neck as he fumbled with the door and then the curtain. He slipped out of his arms to adjust the water temperature and Reid let out a soft gasp. He glanced over his shoulder in time to see him staring hungrily at Hotch’s arse.

“You want that, do you?” He smirked, “I’ve bottomed before. I don’t mind. Though I should warn you, I do prefer to top.”

“I… I couldn’t. I shouldn’t have looked, I just…” Reid was backing up with wide eyes.

“Hey, stop,” Hotch scolded, closing the curtain and switching the water to the shower head, “I was referring to position although for the record I can top from the bottom too. There’s no shame in you being inside me.”

“You’d let me…?” Reid cast about with his eyes and Hotch pulled him in for a hot, long kiss, delving his tongue into his mouth. He tasted of chocolate and semen. It wasn’t an awful combination.

Hotch walked Reid backwards into the shower, kissing him while running his hands over his body. His ‘marking’ was turning tacky and foul and they both made faces so he grabbed the soap and scrubbed him up, Reid was rock hard again and he made sure to tease his cock as he washed him. When he reached back to soap up his arse and finger him a bit for fun he found a plug inside of him.

“Oh, what’s this?” He asked with a smirk.

“I wanted to be ready for you,” Reid breathed, “So it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Well, let’s slide it out,” Hotch replied, “No reason to keep it in if you’re going to top.”

“What if the Viagra makes you want to top?” Reid asked, gripping his arms painfully as his eyes went wide with fear.

“Shhh,” Hotch soothed, peppering his face with kisses, “I won’t hurt you. Even if I decide I want you like that I’ll stretch you first. You leave this in you’ll start to get uncomfortable.”

“I know,” Reid replied, and his voice implied FAR too much knowledge on the matter.

“Then you don’t ever have to use one with me,” Hotch replied soothingly, rubbing his arsecheeks soothingly before taking it in hand and slowly sliding it out. He breathed out as it was released. Hotch rinsed it under the water and then tossed it into the trashcan.

“Thank you,” Reid replied, wrapping his arms around him and leaning close. They held each other for a bit, just pressing close and letting the warm water and steam surround them. Hotch closed his eyes against the water dripping into it and stroked his hands over the long expanse of Reid’s willowy body.

“I’m sorry,” Reid told him, “About earlier. About the mess in your living room.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I _know_ they’re not real, it’s just… I guess I had this irrational idea that he wouldn’t appear if you were here.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s really not,” Reid replied miserably.

“Come to bed,” Hotch stated, “Let’s just lie down together. Maybe you’ll feel better if we rest a bit.”

“I don’t think I can sleep. I’m too keyed up.”

“Let’s just try,” Hotch soothed, “Come on.”

 

 

A/N So this got super long and I had to split it between two chapters instead of one. Sry.


	7. Chapter 7

Hotch dried Reid off, rubbing the towel through his hair and then wrapping it around him. He walked naked behind him as he led him to the bedroom with a hand on the small of his back. He slipped the towels off and turned Reid to face him. He looked anxious again, but wasn’t panicking like he had before.

“Were you trying to protect me earlier?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah,” Reid replied, “He was… um… was swinging an axe at your head.”

“And you tried to take an axe for me?” Hotch raised his eyebrow incredulously.

“It wasn’t exactly a rational moment for me,” Reid frowned.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit flattered is all.”

“Well, you’re worth dying for,” Reid chuckled, slipping his arms around him.

“I’d rather I were worth living for,” Hotch replied.

“You are,” Reid smiled, “Your happiness is my reason for living.”

“Why do I have a feeling you’re repeating something _he_ made you repeat?” Reid didn’t reply and Hotch moved to turn down the blankets, pulling him closer by his elbow, “Come and lie down.”

Reid slipped into the bed and smiled up at him as Hotch sat down on the edge, “Reid, we don’t have to do anything. We can just go to sleep.”

“After you took Viagra?” Reid asked.

“I’ll survive,” Hotch insisted, “I’m worried about what this could do to you.”

“I’m not,” Reid replied, “I want this. You promised you’d help me make sure I wasn’t broken.”

“I did,” Hotch nodded, “And you’ve successfully performed a _peaceful_ home invasion and succeeded in getting my consent. Do I have yours?”

“Yes,” Reid replied.

“Show me,” Hotch replied softly, “Show me where he hurt you.”

Reid guided Hotch’s hands over long-healed burns and cuts, bringing them up to cup his chest where his nipples had been pierced through with a bar on each. He guided his hands down to his crotch where scars littered even his privates. He rolled over and Hotch continued the exploration on his own, over slashes across his back from being flogged, marks that appeared to be from a chain across his arsecheeks, and finally down between his arsecheeks where the man had violated him the most. Reid was still a bit open from the plug but he needed more lubricant and some attention to stay that way. For now Hotch let himself settle for a soft kiss to his exposed entrance, noting the white of an area that had needed stitches at one point.

“You’ve been cleared for penetrative sex?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I think I want to be inside you. Is that acceptable?”

“Yes,” Reid breathed with a shiver.

“Good. Roll over for me and lay in a comfortable position on your back. Turn your head away from me.”

Hotch started pulling things from his nightstand and categorizing what he had to work with. Lube, condoms, a vibrating cock ring, unscented lotion, and a vibrating bullet, a p-spot stimulator, some nipple clamps, and a spare set of handcuffs he’d wrapped in electric tape to soften them a bit without bothering with fuzzy material.

“I want you to take a deep breath and then look at what I have on the table. If you see anything there that is triggery for you I’ll get rid of it.”

Reid did as told, blowing out the air as he stared over at the table.

“Nipple clamps.”

Hotch brushed them into the trashcan beside his bed, “Anything else?”

“C-cock ring.”

It joined the clamps. He didn’t want anything that would make him think of what Reid had gone through in his home. Hotch glanced at Reid. He was staring at the lotion.

“What’s that for?” He asked.

“Massages. Easing the discomfort of scars. It’s medical grade. Does it bother you?”

“No,” Reid replied, “I was just curious. He used lotion instead of lube sometimes and it hurt worse.”

“It’s for external use only. Would you like me to rub it on your skin? Maybe rub your shoulders a bit?”

Reid smiled softly, “Yeah.”

Hotch squirted some lotion onto his hand and began to rub it gently into the front of Reid’s shoulders, giving him space to bolt if he needed to. He turned his head and breathed in the smell and then relaxed. It wasn’t upsetting him so Hotch continued down his chest, swirling it into his scars with his thumbs. He moved his thumbs carefully around Reid’s nipples, but his breath caught in pleasure rather than fear. Hotch watched as his cock began to fill and smiled as he moved down his body. When he finished with the front he softly told him to turn over and Reid lay with his hands relaxed on either side of his head.

Hotch smiled, “I’m going to straddle your hips.”

“Oh,” Reid sighed happily.

Hotch straddled his narrow hips and stroked lotion along him before beginning a proper massage. Reid moaned in appreciation and Hotch’s calm with the situation grew. Reid was soft and warm beneath him, and he hadn’t made a single threatening movement towards Jack or Hotch. In fact he’d tried to protect him from his hallucination of Alfred, as irrational as that was his instinct had been to keep Hotch from being harmed by his former captor.

“It would help me if I could just _see_ his body,” Reid replied softly.

“You don’t remember killing him?”

“Did I?” Reid asked.

“Someone did, and you’re the only one alive that we know of. It’s how we believe things played out. From the layers of dried blood it seemed he was slowly killing off his concubines. You were going to be last because he was the most attached to you. Apparently he could relate to you more?” Hotch asked, and then winced, “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to talk about that.”

“It’s fine,” Reid replied, “He identified as a male crossdresser like I did but looked down at transwomen. He thought they were weak because they, in his words, ‘couldn’t deal with the parts they were given’. Frankly I still believe that deep down inside he _didn’t_ identify as male like he said.”

“We profiled him as a closeted transwoman,” Hotch replied, “Who was resentful of those around him who were more successful at hiding their gender identity. Then we found out that he has a twin sister who was a closeted transwoman. She killed herself when their parents didn’t accept her gender identification and he was angry about it. They died- natural causes- and it was the trigger for his escalation from internalized rage to rape.”

“So you don’t think he’s was a transwoman?”

“You know him better than I do.”

“I’m unsure,” Reid replied, “Where is he buried?”

“We never found his body. Or those of the other concubines.”

“The last guy… the one I kidnapped… he said something about putting them in the trash.”

“The gore we found would support them being chopped up for disposal.”

“I have a vague memory of them being carried out in bags,” Reid replied, “But I was hallucinating the last victim as Freddy.”

Hotch finished his massage by moving down to caress and press the muscles beneath his arsecheeks. Reid moaned and began to arch his hips and Hotch smiled. Time to steer their conversation away from distressing topics.

“You’re gorgeous,” Hotch said softly.

“Me?” Reid laughed a bit.

“Yes, you. Your mind. Your body. Your personality. Gorgeous.”

“I annoy you,” Reid argued, “You’re always telling me to shut up.”

“I have to. I’m your boss,” Hotch reminded him, leaning down to press a kiss against his shoulder, “I like your hair long like this. Do you?”

“Yes,” Reid replied, arching a bit. Hotch’s cock had slotted in between his cheeks and was swelling slowly.

Hotch let himself stretch across Reid, rolling his hips as he began to kiss along his shoulder and nibble his ear. Reid sighed happily and rolled his hips back in longing, his insecurities slowly melting away in the face of Hotch’s gentle touch. He reached for the nightstand, picked up the lube, and slowly sat up.

“I’ve got he lubricant now. Did you want to see it?”

Reid glanced over his shoulder, silently confirming that it was lube and not lotion, and then relaxed again. When Hotch pulled a cheek aside and slid a finger into him he was fully relaxed, though his shoulders tensed up.

“Easy,” Hotch said softly, “You’re okay. Tell me if you want me to stop and I will, okay? No matter what’s going on you just say stop and I will.”

“Okay,” Reid replied softly, “I’m still pretty open. You can use two.”

Hotch pumped his finger twice, not allowing Reid to rush him, before sinking a second in. He poured some more lubricant down his hole as he stretched his fingers, and Reid gasped at the chill. Hotch smiled and continued to work him open. When three fingers moved easily he slipped his hand free and slicked up his cock.

“Condom?”

“Only if you feel the need,” Reid replied, “I’m not used to them, but I’m clean so…”

“So am I,” Hotch replied, “It’s been so long since I was inside someone.”

Hotch hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant the longing in his voice to leak out. It had and when Reid heard it he made a soft sound of longing, and pressed his hips up in offering. Hotch pushed his knees between Reid’s thighs and parted them before pausing in thought.

“Do you want to roll over so you can see me?”

“No,” Reid replied softly, “This is how he… I want to hear your voice from this position.”

Hotch slowly sank into Reid’s body, moaning at the tight, wet heat that surrounded his throbbing cock. He laid stretched over Reid, pillows propping his hips at the right angle, and let himself roll into him until he was buried to the hilt. Reid moaned beneath him, listening as Hotch panted comforting words into his ear.

“That’s it. Just a bit more. So good for me. Beautiful. Oh, fuck Spencer,” Hotch panted.

They paused a moment, both waiting to adjust to the feeling of being of fullness and tightness. Hotch found Reid’s mouth and kissed him deeply, his tongue stroking and coaxing Reid’s into action. He slipped his tongue out and Hotch moaned happily at the response, suckling on the strong muscle. Reid whimpered and bucked, drawing a grunt from Hotch who pulled partway out and then thrust back in again.

“Oh!” Reid gasped, and buried his face in the mattress as he pushed back needily.

“Found it,” Hotch grunted, referring to his pleasure spot. He began to move faster, groaning as pleasure shot through him.

Reid was pushing up with his hips, fucking himself back on Hotch’s cock as the older man’s bollocks slapped against his with each frantic thrust. Hotch worked a hand between his body and the mattress and took him firmly in hand. Reid let out a soft cry of surprise but Hotch could feel him holding back. This was what he’d been afraid of and the reason he’d wanted the Viagra. Reid had been overwhelmed before but now he was afraid to climax again. Hotch coaxed him with hand and mouth, whispering reassurances while peppering his shoulder and neck with kisses.

Hotch grabbed the vibrating bullet and pressed it against Reid’s taint, shifting his leg to reach it. He flipped it on the lowest setting so as not to alarm or overstimulate Reid and used his bollocks to pin it against his prostate from the outside.

“Oh! OH!” Reid gasped, making Hotch smile at his exclamations.

“Feel good?” Hotch asked, pulling out and pressing in again. The bullet escaped and he growled in frustration as he chased after and pressed it back into place.

Reid was whimpering hungrily, his hips arching for the contact he’d felt earlier. Hotch pressed it back and Reid moaned is first name deep in his throat. Hotch grinned and shifted against him. He could only pull partway out or the bullet would roll away, but it was enough to drive them both wild. He was moving his hips in fast, shallow thrusts and Reid was letting out pants that were part moan. When he finally tumbled over the edge it was with a cry of accomplishment. Hotch groaned as his passage fluttered and squeezed around him, finally letting himself empty into the young man beneath him.

“Perfect,” Hotch panted, “So perfect, Spence.”

“Aaron,” Reid sighed, relaxing as Hotch tossed the bullet onto the floor. It danced around but they both ignored it.

“Good?” Hotch asked, stretching out beside him.

Reid rolled into his side and pressed against Hotch, his fluids cooling against his belly. Hotch wasn’t shy about such things, so he simply pulled him closer and nuzzled his ear before kissing him slowly. Reid relaxed in his arms and Hotch whispered an excuse before slipping away. He headed for the bathroom, anxiously keeping the door open despite the fact he was far more certain Reid wasn’t going to harm Jack. He dampened a rag with warm water and returned to gently clean them both up.

“S’good,” Reid whispered.

“Very good,” Hotch replied softly, “You were gorgeous.”

“Felt so good to come with you inside me,” Reid whispered, “I swear I saw stars.”

“Not an uncommon description,” Hotch replied.

“Ego,” Reid snickered.

“No, prostate,” Hotch chuckled, “You could do that to yourself with this.”

He showed him the prostate stimulator and Reid studied it curiously. He reached down to insert it but Hotch took it away with a laugh, “Give yourself a chance to recover. Tomorrow’s another day.”

“Today,” Reid corrected.

Hotch glanced at the bedside clock and groaned, “I have work in three hours.”

“Sleep,” Reid soothed, “I want to hold you.”


	8. Chapter 8

Hotch couldn’t help but let sleep happen even though he knew full well that he should stay awake for multiple reasons. When he woke up his alarm was going off and he slammed his hand down on it and groaned in frustration. A warm body moved behind him and he rolled over to wrap himself around it.

 _“Haley_ ,” Hotch sighed.

The body stiffened and Hotch mentally kicked himself as Reid chuckled, “Well, that was badly played.”

“Yeah,” Hotch agreed, “I’m sorry. I was married to her for years. She’s literally the _only_ person I’ve slept beside until now.”

“It’s fine,” Reid replied, rolling over and smiling at him tiredly, “I’m used to names beside my own.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Hotch sighed, struggling up out of the warm blankets, “I need coffee.”

“I’ll make some,” Reid replied, “You hop in the shower. I’ll get Jack up and off to school…”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Hotch replied, far sharper than he intended. Reid froze. Hotch sighed, “I’m sorry. I’m just… I have a schedule I keep. I like the routine and waking Jack up is one of those things that’s _ours_.”

Reid smiled, “Can I make you breakfast? And coffee?”

“Absolutely,” Hotch smiled, “I’d be thrilled. Just do me a favour and leave your bag of pills out of it?”

Reid chuckled and headed for his suitcase, pulling out a long white cotton shirt that was made to be worn as a nightgown and a bra that had a bit of padding in the cup to give him the illusion of tiny breasts. He pulled on both and grabbed a pair of boyshort panties before heading to the bathroom to clean up more after their activities that night. Hotch started getting himself ready for the day, pulling on comfortable clothes before sneaking in behind Reid to use the bathroom and watching curiously as he applied makeup and brushed his hair. He headed into Jack’s room while Reid went to the kitchen to get breakfast together.

He was just starting to think his actions over from the night before. He couldn’t help but notice that at some point his keys had gone missing and the house phone was had vanished again. He’d taken measures to keep Jack in the apartment, ensuring Hotch’s good behaviour. Reid was still acting paranoid and keeping him ‘hostage’. He was almost positive Jack was safe, but he wasn’t so sure about Reid or himself. The profile he had worked out for Reid in their brief time together again showed a leaning towards murder-suicide in his level of obsession with Hotch. He sat Jack down at the table and headed for the front door to test their level of trust.

“I’m going to check the mail,” Hotch stated, eyeing up his gun safe as he passed it.

“I locked it up,” Reid stated, noting his actions, “After you went to sleep. You should be more careful with your gun. In 2011 there were 102 people under 18 accidentally killed with a handgun, half of them were under the age of 13.”

“Duly noted,” Hotch replied, placing his hand on the door, “Thank you for locking it up. Where did you put my keys?”

Hotch turned to where Reid was scraping some eggs onto three plates in silence.

“Reid?” He prompted, “I need the keys to get the mail.”

“I know,” Reid replied, glancing over his shoulder and then turning back to the bacon.

Hotch walked passed him to the cabinet he’d had his pill bag stored in. It was gone. As he turned to confront Reid he found himself pressed up against the edge of the counter.

“Stay,” Reid whispered too low for Jack to hear, sliding his nose along Hotchner’s, “Skip work for a change. Let me spend more time with you. It’s been so long and we’ve barely scratched this itch I have for you.”

“Spencer,” Hotch replied, his voice haggard as desire and fear wavered, “Jack needs to go to school and I need to know you aren’t going to hurt us. It worries me when you keep things from me. I’m a grown man. I’m your lover. Your partner, if that’s what you want. Not your hostage. We can do this in baby steps if you want. Let me get the mail by myself. Trust that I’ll come back.”

“You’ll come back because Jack is here with me,” Reid replied, “You won’t come back for _me_.”

“I will come back for you,” Hotch replied, slipping his arms around those narrow hips and pulling Reid closer. Their lips met in a soft kiss before he broke it to continue speaking, “I’m trusting you not to hurt my son. You trust me not to run off and call the police.”

Reid’s head fell against Hotch’s shoulder and he sighed in frustration, “Fine.”

Reid moved away and headed for their bedroom. The bag was at the top of Hotch’s closet and it contained keys, phone, and even his shoes. Hotch hadn’t even noticed those were gone. He didn’t ask for them. He took the keys and padded downstairs to the mailboxes in his slippers, choosing to use the stairs rather than the elevator in an effort to wake himself up more. His heartrate was up and anxiously worried that he’d made a mistake. A neighbour was down there already, sorting through the junk mail and dumping it into a trashcan.

“Morning,” Hotch muttered.

“You mean afternoon,” The man grunted.

“Sorry?” Hotch froze.

“It’s nearly noon,” The man replied, glancing up at him and then back down again.

Hotch stiffened in alarm and his eyes moved unbidden towards the final stairwell that would lead him down to the front doors. What would he find there? Police? He glanced over the neighbour and started taking mental notes. He didn’t recognize him, but that was nothing new. The people who lived here led private lives. He had asked Garcia to do a background check on all of them once a year, but hadn’t looked into it personally. He didn’t hold himself like a cop, but he also wasn’t engaging him and that made profiling difficult. It was entirely possible that the man was a _very_ good undercover cop. The longer he sorted and resorted his mail the more Hotch believed it.

Curious, but also worried about how long he’d been out of the apartment, Hotch hurried down the last flight of stairs to stare out the double set of glass doors. Sure enough there were lights flashing and a line of police cars outside. He could see Morgan shouting orders and waving people around. Rossi pointed him out to Morgan and they both stared at the doors before slowly starting to approach with their hands in the air. Hotch felt panic rise and quickly gave them the signal to stay back before turning and fleeing up the steps as fast as he could. The man at the mailbox tried to stop him, but he just rushed passed him and ignored the calls. Once back on his floor he hurried into his apartment where Reid was calmly pouring a glass of juice for Jack.

“There, see?” Reid smiled up at him, “I didn’t even look out the window. I think I’m going to be okay.”

“You changed the time on all the clocks,” Hotch stated, “Knowing that without my cell I’d never know the difference.

“Jack helped me pull it off this morning,” Reid smiled, “But don’t be mad at him, it was my idea.”

Jack giggled, “He said you’d miss work and we could spend the day together! I had to go play quietly in my room afterwards, but it was totally worth it! Can we play video games, daddy? Please!”

Hotch swallowed hard, “Sure. I’m just going to go… shut the blinds.”

“Already done,” Reid replied, “Can’t risk a sniper getting Jack by accident.”

“Have they called?” Hotch asked.

“About half an hour after they realized you didn’t come in or call. I told them not to worry, that the guns were secure, no one was injured, and I don’t have any demands except privacy. I called Jack’s school and told them he was ill.”

“Reid,” Hotch started, “ _Spencer_. I need to talk to them. It’s the only way they’ll relax and pull back. Jack is in danger until you let me talk to them.”

Reid reached out and ran an anxious hand through Jack’s hair.

“What’s going on?” Jack asked worriedly.

“Nothing,” Reid smiled softly, “Your dad just has to call out of work.”

Reid fetched the phone and handed it to him with a sigh, “I’m sorry, Aaron. I just… I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Can Jessica come up here and get Jack?”

Reid’s eyes flashed and his face flushed red, “You still trust her? She left him here alone! _I_ took better care of him, and I’m a schizophrenic with PTSD and severe paranoia!”

“What about JJ?” Hotch asked instead, latching on to their close friendship.

Reid’s face lit up, “I’ve missed her.”

“She’s missed you to,” Hotch replied, tucking Reid’s hair behind his ear, “She’ll be glad to see you.”

The phone rang once before Morgan answered it.

“How is this gonna end, Reid? I don’t want to lose any friends today.”

“You won’t,” Hotch replied.

“Hotch, thank god. What’s going on up there? You and Jack okay?”

“We’re okay,” Hotch replied, “Looks like my plan from San Diego worked pretty well.”

Morgan was silent a moment, recalling the challenge Hotch had given Reid and the fact they’d expected it to go _very_ differently.

“How’s Reid?”

“We’d like a bit of privacy and were wondering if JJ could come and fetch Jack,” Hotch replied, avoiding a more intense conversation.

“She’s on her way. Anything else?”

“Reid, you want anything? Take out?”

“More lube?” Reid suggested.

Hotch winced. He didn’t want to ask for that, but he wasn’t going to push Reid with Jack still in the house, even if he _did_ think the other man was safe around him.

“We need more lubricant,” Hotch replied, “Preferably the sort for anal penetration.”

There was a momentary pause, “Condoms?”

“Unnecessary,” Hotch replied.

“The second will take another trip. You up for that?”

Hotch relayed it and Reid shrugged indifferently, “If we’re going to have company I’d better get dressed.”

“You do that,” Hotch replied, answering them both at the same time, then recalled something, “There’s a pharmacy on the corner. They should have what we need. It’s a little mom and pop thing. Angelo’s, or something like that.”

“I think I see it from here. Thanks.”

By the time JJ was at their door Hotch had managed to force clothes on a screaming and kicking Jack, just barely maintaining his temper as he did. Jack didn’t want to leave. Reid had promised him a day with his dad and he was _angry_. Hotch had him to the door by the time JJ knocked for the third time.

“I’m coming! Just a minute!” Hotch called.

Reid was at the door in a tight blue cotton dress with long sleeves and a swooping neckline, reassuring JJ that everything was fine, but he wasn’t going to open the door until Hotch got there. Finally Hotch hauled Jack forward and opened the door. JJ walked in with a white paper bag in one hand and the other open palmed. She was wearing a vest and looked a mixture of relieved and frightened.

“It’s the lube. I’m unarmed,” JJ stated.

“It’s okay, JJ,” Reid smiled sweetly, “I trust you.”

“JJ, thanks for coming,” Hotch panted, “Jack doesn’t want to go, but he’s going to be _very good_ for you. Aren’t you, Jack?”

“No!” Jack screamed.

“Jack,” Reid stepped around and stilled the boy with a simple hand on his shoulder, kneeling beside him. JJ sucked in a breath, but Hotch shook his head at her until she stilled, “I know you wanted to spend the day with your dad, but he hasn’t seen me in over a _year_. What if I promise you that if you let me borrow your dad for today that we’ll all go to the zoo next time? Hm? As a family?”

“As a family?” Jack asked, eyes lighting up, “Like you’ll be my new mommy? Is that why you’re wearing dresses now?”

“Yeah,” Reid smiled, “You bet. So will you go with JJ now?”

“Okay!” Jack hugged Reid and Hotch swallowed down the pain in his chest. His son wanted a new mother and the only person he’d managed to attract was frighteningly intelligent and insane in equal doses.

Jack took JJ’s hand, but before they could leave Reid called to her.

“Hey, JJ! What gives?” Reid asked, standing and smiling awkwardly, “You’re not even going to say hello?”

“Oh… I… I’m sorry, I… This has just been a surprise and all… How are you?”

“I’m… better,” Reid smiled softly, “I’ve missed you.”

JJ’s eyes filled with tears and she struggled a moment, swallowing hard, “I’ve missed you, too, little brother. So has Henry.”

Reid stepped forward to hug her and JJ put out her arms, but he pulled back with a frightened look on his face. Reid put his hands up on his head and paced a moment while JJ stared anxiously at him. She was just reaching for Jack to attempt to retreat again when Hotch stopped her with a glance.

“Reid? What is it?”

“I want to hug JJ, but I’m not allowed to,” Reid replied.

“According to whom? Freddy?” Hotch asked, glancing at JJ and silently willing her to take this information to Morgan and the rest of the team.

“Yeah,” Reid replied, then stepped forward so he could whisper away from Jack’s ears, “I’m not allowed to initiate contact with other concubines, ask for or receive physical or emotional comfort, or achieve orgasm. I’m the bottom.”

“Freddy is dead,” Hotch stated, “And JJ isn’t my concubine. She’s our co-worker and friend. Furthermore you can be in any position you want in bed, and all the rest as well. It’s your choice, your body. Just like continuing this… situation is.”

Reid nodded minutely and then turned to JJ and held his arms out with a hopeful smile. JJ hesitated a moment and then wrapped her arms tightly around Reid. Reid sniffled as he hugged her and JJ stroked his hair a moment. When they separated she looked confused, but she took Jack and hurried down the hall towards the elevators anyway. Hotch shut the door and turned to find Reid rifling through the bag.

“Aha!” Reid announced, “I remembered this from when Prentiss and I were hostages, it’s a little microphone. Really powerful. They stuck it to the bag, probably figuring we’d toss it to the ground or into the trash. Nice try guys!”

Reid dropped it to the ground and stomped on it, grinding it beneath a black high heel.

“Mm, heels,” Hotch purred, “Let me get some food into me and we can try our hand at you topping.”

“You’d really let me?” Reid asked, bolting for the table and pouring Hotch his coffee.

“I’m not opposed to it. I prefer to top, but I’m not in love with it.”

“Yeah, not like with me,” Reid replied.

“Sorry?” Hotch asked, not understanding him.

“Me. You’re not in love with topping like you are with me,” Reid smiled that tight-lipped smile that Hotch was so used to and the man remembered that his safety net was gone. Reid could become violent without a child in the house to protect.

“Of course,” Hotch smiled, stroking his hip as he scooped up some more food. He was starved after sex, stress, and sleeping too much, “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“I ate while you were stuffing Jack into his clothes. I thought about helping but I know you don’t trust me with him yet.”

“I’m trying, Spence,” Hotch replied, giving him an apologetic glance, “I really am. It’s just that this is all very new for me and I dislike change. I know you wouldn’t hurt Jack on a conscious level but my subconscious is scared to death.”

Reid pulled out a chair and sat down, probably to lower his threat level, and stroked his hand along Hotch’s wrist.

“Aaron, I _love_ you. I’ve been crazy for you for ages, I told you that before.”

“I still don’t feel like I apologized enough for chasing you off,” Hotch replied, “I was just… still mourning Haley.”

“I know that now,” Reid replied, “I’ve had so long to think about it, about how awkwardly I tried to talk to you.”

“What happened to you?” Hotch asked, “There were no signs of a struggle.”

“I didn’t fight,” Reid replied, “He was waiting for me. He walked up and said ‘Did you tell him?’ and I said ‘Yes.’ Then he motioned to his car and just… _smiled._ I went with him.”

“Why?” Hotch asked.

“I was devastated and determined to prove to you that I was valuable- to you, not just to the team. I thought if I could get close enough I could get him to either turn himself in- you know how I work better when I’m under fear of death- or lure you to him by making a trail of clues. Unfortunately he realized that I was manipulating him not long after he took me and fled. The abuse became worse after that.”

“Spencer,” Hotch turned to face him more, “You _are_ valuable to me. You were then, too. I was just-“

“I know,” Reid gripped his hand tightly for a moment, “I know. It’s okay. I’m not angry at you, I just… I want to move forward.”

“Okay,” Hotch nodded, “Let me wash up first.”

Hotch downed the last of his coffee and went to the bathroom to wash up. He wanted this to be good for Reid, especially since it was his first time topping. He washed up thoroughly and then headed back to the bedroom with just a towel around his waist. Reid was on the phone.

“Hotch, it’s Morgan again,” Reid sighed, “He wants some reassurance. I can’t think of any demands for him to meet and I think it’s making him nervous. Can you talk to him?”

“Sure,” Hotch smiled, taking the phone.

Reid stood and turned his back; slowly unzipping his dress while Hotch watched and tried to remember how to speak.

“Morgan,” Hotch stated blandly, but was too drawn into what Reid was doing to listen to the response.

Reid slipped the blue dress over one shoulder and Hotch’s mouth dried up, his arse clenching at what he knew would happen as Reid glanced innocently over his shoulder with a small smile.

“Should I leave the shoes on?” Reid asked.

“Absolutely,” Hotch replied.

“How bad is it?” Morgan asked.

“How bad is what?” Hotch asked.

“Your injury,” Morgan replied.

“No, I’m not injured.”

“You just said you were,” Morgan replied, “I swear, Reid, if this is a recording…”

“It’s not a recording, Morgan. I’m just… distracted. I’m not hurt; overall this has been pretty peaceful. Reid’s a good cook.”

“We want you down here. He willing to walk out?”

“Not yet,” Hotch replied, “We’re… negotiating.”

Reid let the dress drop to the floor, shifting his hips until it pooled at his feet. He wore a tight corset beneath that leant shape to his figure.

“You brought a lot of clothes with you,” Hotch muttered. Reid giggled. Morgan asked him what was going on again, “Morgan, I can’t explain fully. Just trust me on this. Give me time. I can get him to surrender.”

“You still haven’t answered me, _does he have a weapon_?”

Hotch stared at Reid as he turned to face Hotch, his cock hard and his eyelids batting innocently.

“Yes and no,” Hotch replied, his voice deepening unintentionally, “You know Reid. You don’t need a gun if you have a brain. Or something like that.”

“Aaron,” Reid smiled, sinking down to his knees, “Can I?”

“Fuck,” Hotch gasped as Reid palmed the front of his sweatpants.

“Hotch?” Morgan asked.

“Gotta go, bye,” Hotch pushed out before hanging up quickly.

He tossed the phone aside and watched as Reid hurriedly undid his flies and ran his tongue along the underside of Hotch’s stiffening cock. Hotch groaned as he tugged his shirt off and stroked his hands through Reid’s hair as the younger man sank down to suckle on the head of his cock.

“Hair pulling?” Hotch choked.

“Mm, love it,” Reid popped off to announce.

Hotch shoved him back on his cock and he sucked him hard while Hotch gripped his hair and tugged him back and forth. Finally he pushed him off, knowing that he wouldn’t last with Reid’s expert mouth sucking him off. He pulled him up and their lips clashed together hungrily. Hotch turned, stepping out of the tangle of his pants and pulled Reid on top of him as he tumbled onto the bed. Reid giggled in excitement and Hotch moaned as he ran his hands along his lacy coverings. He wasn’t sure where Reid stood on having his silicone tits fondled, but Hotch gave it a try and they both snickered a bit.

“I love you, Aaron,” Reid breathed.

“I love you to, Spence,” Hotch replied with a smile, startling himself with the sincerity. He’d had a thing for him back then, but had it really developed to love? It was far too soon for Stockholm to kick in, wasn’t it?

Reid pressed their lips together again, his hips arching to rub their cocks together as they began to move in an age old dance. Hotch was hard and aching, his hands moving down to cup Reid’s bottom as he moaned hungrily beneath him. Reid’s buttocks had filled out nicely during his captivity and he was left gripping him firmly and directing their eager movements.

“I want you so much,” Reid whimpered, hips speeding up.

“You better grab the lube then,” Hotch panted, “Or neither of us are going to get what we want.”

Reid nodded and climbed off of him to hurry to the nightstand where he’d placed the lubricant. Hotch hitched a leg up and Reid knelt on the bed, pushing the other leg up so he had full access to Hotch’s entrance.

“I’ve prepared men for penetration many times so this should go smoothly, but if you feel discomfort at any time let me know,” Reid replied.

Hotch nodded, and breathed out as Reid slowly pressed a digit in. He was open enough from cleaning that he immediately slipped in a second. Hotch moaned, his body burning and suckling all at once. He was eager to have Reid’s thin body stretched over him but he wasn’t about to relinquish power. He groaned in pleasure and then growled and gripped the back of his neck.

“Aaron?” Reid asked, his voice uncertain.

“Keep going,” Hotch panted, “It’s a good reaction.”

“You’re so… strong,” Reid panted, “I want you _so much_.”

“You’ve got me,” Hotch replied, “I’m here. Take me, Spencer.”

Reid pulled his fingers free and slicked his cock with a shaking hand, “I’m so nervous. It’s like losing my virginity.”

“I think that happened last night, but this is another sort,” Hotch replied, his voice gravely with lust.

“Ready?”

“Absolutely.”

Hotch forced his body to relax against the invasion as Reid slid into him, his long, slim cock pressing into him slowly as Reid leaned over his body. One of Reid’s hands slammed down on the bed beside Hotch’s head and the other gripped his thigh as Reid leaned into a better angle.

“Oh gods,” Reid gasped, “You’re so _tight_ … mm… hot.”

Reid was balls deep now, his face flushed as he panted through the urge to just blow his load that second. After a few seconds of stillness he opened his eyes, checked Hotch’s expression, and then pulled out to bury himself in again. That was all it took for genius Spencer Reid to find his prostate and Hotch was soon moaning in pleasure as the younger man pounded into him.

“Yeah,” Hotch groaned, one hand gripping Reid’s hair while the other reached down to stroke himself, “That’s it, baby. Harder. I can take it.”

“Aaron,” Reid gasped, “Fuck!”

“Naughty,” Hotch panted, “Come on, genius. Don’t hold back on me now.”

So saying Hotch snatched at his wrists, gripped his hips with his knees, and rolled them over. Now that he had Reid beneath him he began to ride him fast. Reid fell apart beneath him, shouting in pleasure as he bucked beneath Hotch. His eyes were rolling in his head and he was thrashing his head from side to side as he tried to hold off his climax for a bit longer. Hotch pinned his wrists and grinned wickedly at the sight of a sex crazed Spencer Reid gasping out his release beneath him. Hotch took that moment to reach beneath the covers, snatch up the cuffs he’d hidden there that morning, and slam them onto Reid’s wrists with enough force to bruise.

Reid was too busy panting in pleasure to respond so Hotch took that moment to lean back, grip his aching cock, and toss off fast and hard. He came across Reid’s body with a moan of relief, clinching around Reid’s mostly hard cock as it filled him to perfection while Reid smiled up at him tiredly.

“Aaron that was _beautiful_ ,” Reid sighed happily.

“Glad you thought so,” Hotch replied, “Now we just…”

 _Click_.

Hotch stared down at his wrist. One of the cuffs was on his right wrist. Hotch watched in horror Reid shimmied a hairpin into the second cuff on his wrist, slipped out of it, and reached for Hotch’s left arm. Hotch didn’t fight him. Reid was still in control here, even if Hotch was the dominant male, and he wasn’t going to risk this turning violent.

“Reid,” Hotch sighed, “Don’t you think this has gone far enough?”

“Yes,” Reid smiled sheepishly, reaching up to stroke his face, “I’m just… you know, I had to show you the cuff thing wouldn’t work. We made it through sex twice and I never felt the urge to become violent or take away your free will. You were right. He didn’t break me.”

“Does that mean you’ll surrender now?” Hotch asked, “Preferably _after_ taking these off me so I can put some pants on?”

Reid smiled at him fondly, “Yeah.”

Reid reached for the first cuff to start picking the lock when they heard a loud bang from the front door.

“FBI nobody move!” Morgan’s voice called out.

Hotch rolled, Reid scrambled for a blanket, and by the time they got to the bedroom they were sitting at the head of the bed like a pair of teenagers caught by their parents. Hotch was still cuffed and Reid looked about as guilty as a dog caught eating a roast.

“Don’t move, Reid,” Morgan ordered, slipping into the room with his gun raised. JJ was right behind him, “Please don’t make me hurt you, man. I don’t want to lose a friend today.”

“Spencer, sweetie, it’s over,” JJ pleaded, “Put up your hands and let us get Hotch out of here.”

“Don’t shoot. He was just about to surrender,” Hotch insisted, “He was taking the cuffs off when you came in. I told you to _wait_.”

“We had every reason to believe he was messing with your head and raping you,” Morgan replied, “No way we were waiting any longer.”

“Spencer, come here please,” JJ coaxed, “Off the bed and hands up. Come on, sweetie. Now’s your chance to show us who you really are, so please be the person I love and remember.”

“You really don’t want to see me like this,” Reid replied, “I’m naked and kind of gross right now. Besides if I don’t wash up I could get an infection from the faecal matter and digestive bacteria entering into my bloodstream through minute tears that result from the normal friction of sexual intercourse.”

“Spencer,” Hotch sighed.

“Shutting up,” Reid replied.

“Do as they say,” Hotch insisted, “No sudden moves.”

Reid complied and Morgan cuffed him, reading him his rights and informing him of all he was accused of. When he got to rape Reid started protesting but a word from Hotch silenced him. JJ and Morgan took Reid out of the house after draping him with a sheet. Rossi headed in for Hotchner as he sat on the bed with his head in his hands trying not to cry.

“Is Jack okay?” Hotch asked miserably.

“He’s fine,” Rossi replied, “Penelope is pampering him. We need to get you to the hospital. Take your statement. Get a kit done.”

“Kit?” Hotch asked, rubbing at his face and looking up in confusion.

“Yeah, kit,” Rossi stated, his tone heavy, “You got clean pants where? We’ll need anything you wore while he was here as evidence so…”

“No, no, I’m not pressing charges,” Hotch replied.

“Aaron, you’ve just been through a traumatic ordeal-“

“And I don’t need a rape kit, the sex was consensual.”

Rossi straightened up from where he’d been looking through a drawer for a pair of pants for Hotch and gave him a concerned look.

“You do realize that you just said what George Conner said? Will you be calling yourself his wife next?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t identify as a woman. Reid’s the crossdresser.”

“So husband?” Rossi asked, “Aaron, you’re not thinking clearly.”

“I do _not_ consent to a rape kit and I don’t need to go to the hospital.”

“We just broke down your door. We had to pull your so out of here, _after_ negotiating his release. You’re in handcuffs. You’re shaking. You can’t get rid of us by not pressing charges. We’re going to process everything and when we do-“

“You’ll have nothing except a few confusion phone calls and my son telling you that his babysitter left him alone for hours on end until Reid showed up to care for him. You’ll question her and she’ll tell you I was here flirting with Reid. You’ll cross-examine me about the phone calls and I’ll play tell you that there _was_ no hostage situation and that my attempts to talk you down were attempts to explain that. Then the whole thing will be water under the bridge.”

“Except for Reid, who will _never_ live this down in the Bureau and who needs treatment. Badly.”

“He’s getting treatment.”

“Is that what he told you?” Rossi asked, “Because he broke out of treatment yesterday and got to you before we could. Strauss has been pissing herself because she kept you out of the loop to avoid you visiting him and triggering another relapse. Apparently she wants him back in the FBI because he’s _just that good_ , but figured if he were around you it would be a problem.”

“So if this hadn’t happened we’d have never found out what happened to Reid,” Hotch scowled, “She would have let us keep thinking he had vanished.”

“Oh, I think he’d have contacted us. Eventually. Preferably _after_ he stopped seeing his ‘husband’ in every shadow.”

“He didn’t harm or rape me. We weren’t being held hostage. You’re off track. He came here to hook up with me- after _I invited him­_ \- and succeeded. The end.”

“And your request for lube was…?”

“We were low.”

“Your request to have Jack pulled out of here?”

“Did I mention my sitter flaked on me?”

Rossi watched him quietly for a moment, “You’re going to regret this.”

“No. I won’t.”


	9. Chapter 9

Hotch had no choice about the therapy thing. Everyone insisted on it, not just Strauss. He was taken out of the field for a month before he managed to pressure his therapist into signing off on his return to work, and even then they didn’t give him back his gun. They offered to pay for Jack to get counselling as well. Hotch accepted, but not because of Reid. He was worried about Jack’s eager acceptance of a new mother figure. He would love for Reid to be that figure, but he was concerned that the young one had latched on so eagerly.

Then there was Jessica. She was devastated that she’d misunderstood the hostage situation and had unwittingly placed Jack in danger. Hotch was in turns frustrated, angry, and pitying of her. She was wracked with guilt but he couldn’t explain the situation more fully to her or he’d hurt Reid’s defence. He had to just sit there and repeatedly tell her it wasn’t a hostage situation, that he really _did_ just want a booty call, and then listen to his co-workers and counsellors tell her that Hotch was _sick_ and didn’t know what he was saying. He had Stockholm Syndrome and she shouldn’t take him seriously. CPS came to call. They were worried he’d put Jack in danger. He showed them around his home and went over his protocol about protecting Jack. He couldn’t lose his son protecting Reid. He told them he _had_ used a call word to call Jessica in, but refused to tell them why. Instead he told them it was none of their business and that he was clearly protecting his son to the best of his abilities. They left Jack with him but mentioned talking to him again later.

When Reid’s trial date came around Hotch waited anxiously in the stands, hoping Reid’s lawyer could convince the judge to let him take the stand. Hotch had provided him with a letter from his therapist clearing him for active duty, but she’d refused to state that he didn’t have Stockholm Syndrome. In the end the judge wouldn’t let him take the stand but Reid was let off due to the lack of evidence. Reid was ordered to go back into the hospital and continue treatment, but because he’d been there the entire time they’d been waiting for trial it was a moot point. He would be out in a matter of days. At least they’d gotten to make eyes at each other during the trial.

Hotch sat Jack down and explained to him that Reid would likely be coming to stay with him since his apartment had been shut down when he was ‘away’. His things were in storage- Hotch had footed the bill when the BAU had fallen short- but eventually he might move in completely if things between them went well. In the mean time, he wanted Jack to understand that Reid coming to live with him didn’t mean he was Jack’s new mother. It meant they were trying it out. A test run. Jack listened politely and asked if he could still love _his_ mother. Hotch pulled him into a tight hug.

“She’ll always be your mom, and I want you to _always_ love her. Just like I’ll always love her, even if I love someone else.”

XXX

Reid didn’t contact Hotch as quickly as he’d expected and he began to wonder if they’d actually managed to stop his obsessive infatuation with Hotch. He came into work determined to keep his head up despite the worrying glances being directed his way. Over the last few months he’d stopped arguing when people brought up Reid and Stockholm. He just didn’t want to hear it so he’d shut it down with a scathing word. Eventually a glare was all it took, and now they weren’t even bringing it up at all. They’d all followed the papers. They knew Reid had been released last night- HIPAA laws only helped if a reporter wasn’t bribing someone to leak information- and they were waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’d received a call from each of them last night and Rossi had stopped by unannounced with beers and take out only to have the door slammed in his face.

Hotch walked into his office and Rossi hovered outside the door, “Hey.”

“Morning,” Hotch stated.

“How’s Jack?” Rossi asked, and Hotch nearly snarled at the insinuation behind that.

“Safe and sound at school,” Hotch replied sharply.

“Not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant,” Hotch snapped, slamming his briefcase down, “If he’s moved on I’ll be happy for him, but it changes nothing. He didn’t _rape_ me and I do still love him.”

Rossi’s eyebrows furrowed, but he didn’t say anything, he just held out a cup of coffee for Hotch.

“Thanks,” Hotch sighed, stepping forward to take it, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted, and I shouldn’t have slammed the door in your face last night.”

“We all need to shout every once in a while,” Rossi grinned, “What are friends for if not to absorb that?”

“It’s not how I usually treat my friends,” Hotch sighed.

“They normally don’t chain you up in bed either,” Rossi shrugged, “These are interesting times.”

Hotch laughed despite himself and Rossi gave him an alarmed look. So it _wasn’t_ meant to be a joke. He was trying to get Hotch to look distressed so he could swoop in and point out the fallacies in his argument about Reid’s actions. Hotch defied him by taking a long drought of the coffee and humming appreciatively.

“Thanks, this is good.”

Hotch turned to walk out to the floor to address the group but was interrupted by Strauss heading towards him with a head full of steam, “I need a word, Agent Hotchner. In private.”

The doors were shut. The shades were drawn. Strauss sat down to face him with a strained look.

“We’re offering you early retirement again.”

“Why?”

“Because Spencer Reid is invaluable to the FBI and in a week he’ll be coming back.”

XXX

Reid stared at the file in front of him. It was thick. It was full of information he wished he could forget.

It was his.

He had a file and it was at least three inches thick.

In it was everything from his abilities to his achievements, from his abduction to his Hotchner hostage situation. In it was a long list of injuries he’d received while in the ‘care’ of Alfred ‘Freddy’ O’Malley. The latter was surprisingly smaller than the former.

“Agent Hotchner has refused early retirement.”

“Good,” Reid replied, looking up at Strauss, “You’d have lost an excellent agent and a born leader.”

“It presents some complications,” She replied, “We’re going to have to move you to another state.”

“Understood,” Reid replied, “I have to tie up some loose ends here first. When will I leave?”

“You’ll be reporting for duty in two days at Quantico, but you’ll be in the Forensic Science Research and Training section. They’re going to get you up to speed and then you’ll be moved to another science division in Florida as soon as the paperwork goes through and they finish setting up your lab.”

“So I’ll be an entire floor away, possibly for weeks,” Reid sighed, “Will that be enough? I can avoid him by taking he elevator since he usually takes the stairs in the morning and at the end of the day, but he does use the elevator when with other team members.”

“We’ve informed him of your presence and he insists it won’t be a problem.”

Reid smothered his reaction. He felt Aaron’s absence like a physical ache but had to hide it or risk being locked up for the rest of his life.

“I’m not so sure, but I’ll perform my duties as required.”

From the corner Freddy began to chuckle low in his throat. Reid ignored him as he always did. His pale complexion was one that Reid had once found beautiful, his red hair a halo around his attractive face. He’d become a monster within an hour of taking Reid hostage and then had become something… confusing and complicated. He’d loved him and hated him in turns, sometimes all at once and sometimes throughout the course of the day. He’d been jealous, aroused, angered, and romanced by this man. Now as Strauss left the room he gave him a furtive glance. He wasn’t beautiful anymore. Now only Aaron gave him the kind of chills that his former monster had… and none of the fear.

“Shut up,” Reid whispered to him as he passed the leering man in the corner.

Reid followed Strauss out of her office and she kindly dropped him off at the hotel he’d been staying at so he wouldn’t have to take the subway. She had no idea that it didn’t bother him. She had a lot of misinformation about schizophrenia and when she talked about him taking the subway it was with concern that the crowd of people would set him off. In contrast it was actually being _alone_ that made Freddy louder and more obnoxious. He couldn’t touch him, though. Reid had learned that in the hospital. If he stood completely still when Freddy came at him he would vanish. This was due to the medication. At first his mind had been so strong that when the hallucination hit him bruises would appear on his flesh, his capillaries bursting in a bizarre form of psychosomatic self-harm. Now Freddy couldn’t touch him. He could rail and scream at him, but if Reid waited it out the man would vanish or calm down. He wasn’t always there, but when he was and Reid was alone and his personal demon was being particularly awful he would sit down and rock, hands over his ears, chanting Aaron’s name as a mantra to chase him off. He could still picture the scene in his mind where Aaron had broken a chair over Freddy’s shocked figure. It had been glorious.

Reid had been told time and again that he’d raped and emotionally damaged Aaron, that the man had complied with sex only to avoid harm to himself and his son. Reid’s guilt was overwhelming and he’d written him a thousand unsent letters apologizing. Some of them ended in begging, not just for forgiveness but for the love he so desperately wanted and needed.

 _Bury yourself in your work,_ Reid reminded himself as he flopped down on the cold hotel bed, _It’s this or leave the FBI, and I can’t do that. It’s his embodiment. If I keep working for them I can feel close to him, but if I leave…_

Freddy’s laughter echoed around the room, but when Reid sat up and stared around in alarm he didn’t make a physical appearance. Reid headed to the shower to wash up and spend some time indulging in fantasies about a _willing_ Aaron Hotchner gracing his bed.

XXX

“Furthermore,” Strauss stated, “There will be no contact between Agent Hotchner and Dr Reid. I want you to look out for each other as a team. I realize some of you have extended a hand of friendship to Dr Reid. I appreciate that. He’s battling a terrible illness and could use the support. Just be aware that any attempts to reinstate contact between Agent Hotchner and Dr Reid will not be tolerated. If you believe that any form of harassment is going on in the office I request that you bring it directly to the HR coordinator or me. Should you observe alarming behaviour from Dr Reid I should be notified immediately. I’ll be overseeing him until he leaves for Florida’s Forensic Unit.”

XXX

Hotch was discussing the next case with his group, his mind focused on work because the two day absence of a single word from Reid was hurting badly. He didn’t even have a way to contact him. He’d taken over payment of the storage unit but had paid in cash and left no trail for Hotch to follow. He knew what floor Reid was on but had been told by Strauss that if she saw them together heads would roll, specifically that they’d force his retirement on him. She refused to believe that he wasn’t severely damaged and that had resulted in his gun privileges still being revoked. He was a field agent who couldn’t take part in the arrests anymore. It was frustrating being forced into a supervisory position that left him completely stationary, but at least his team still respected him.

They were headed to the jet when the elevator pinged open. Hotch froze in place as Reid glanced up and both persons eyes went as wide as they could possibly go. Reid backed against the wall and went pale. The whole group stared at him and Hotch tried his damndest to remember how to breathe. He was wearing an off-white blouse with a flared grey skirt that just passed his knees. A pair of black kitten heels graced his feet and his usual messenger bag, the strap of which was accenting the padded bra beneath to give him two tiny twin peaks, hung across his chest. He had a light coating of makeup on that made his lips look fuller and accented his gorgeous cheekbones and gave him longer lashes. His hair was combed to a honey glow that brought out his natural curl.

He was gorgeous.

The door waited for them to enter and when they failed to it began to slide closed. Hotchner jolted forward and caught it with one hand. Reid was shaking. Hotch paused.

“Do you mind if we ride down with you, Dr Reid?” Hotch asked politely.

Reid pressed himself into the corner and motioned vaguely with his hand for them to enter.

“Hotch, we can take the stairs,” Morgan spat out, grabbing at his arm.

Hotch jerked it free and stepped into the elevator. There wasn’t a moment of hesitation as the rest of them all shoved in, Prentiss and Morgan pressing Hotch against the wall opposite Reid while muttering apologies as if they weren’t doing it on purpose. He stood there with a group between himself and the man he loved and the tension in the elevator couldn’t have been thicker. He wanted something from Reid. A sign that he had moved on or still wanted him. _Anything._

Then Hotchner looked up in sheer frustration and froze. The elevator ceiling had two lights in it that had reflective squares designed to spread the light around more. He could see Reid looking up into it, a look of longing and misery plastered across his face as he met Hotch’s eyes in the distorted surface. Hotch’s mind flashed to another time he’d looked up at him with such longing and he shivered as his imagination inserted the feel of Reid’s hands ghosting across the front of his trousers. His nostrils flared and their eye contact solidified. Reid’s eyes looked almost desperate. Pleading. He was flushed and gripping his messenger bag as if it were a shield. His need was so evident so obvious, that Hotch didn’t even question what he wanted any longer. He simply nodded slowly, carefully showing Reid that he was with him. They were on the same page. Fuck the consequences. Fuck Strauss and the shrinks. They could fuck each other if they wanted and no one was going to stop them.

Reid whimpered.

“You okay?” Morgan asked, and for once it was directed at Reid instead of Hotch.

“Yeah,” Reid squeaked.

“Dr Reid,” Hotch stated firmly.

“Hotch,” Prentiss hissed.

“Remove your underwear and hand them to me,” Hotch stated, his voice as firm as if he were giving an order in the field.

A shocked pause.

“Hotch, what the hell are you thinking?” Morgan asked.

“I’m thinking Reid’s scent wore off my pillows at home and he’s not wearing a jacket I can borrow.”

Reid’s messenger bag hit the floor and he shifted in place.

“JJ, could you stand in front of me? Just there?” Reid asked.

Reid tugged her slightly in front of him by her arm so that she was blocking the camera and then began to wriggle his hands up his skirt. She looked one part confused and disgusted and several parts hopeful as she glanced over at Hotch.

“You okay?” She asked Hotch.

“Of course,” Hotch replied calmly.

Except he wasn’t. His pulse was racing as if he had just run a marathon and he’d broken into a heavy sweat. He wanted to be the one sliding a pair of grey boxer briefs down his legs, instead of watching him do it from between the bodies of their oh-so-unhelpful friends. He wanted to slide them over those kitten heels and then slide his hands back up inside the skirt. He wanted to pull the skirt over his head and bury himself in the scent and feel of Reid’s most intimate places. He wanted to pin Reid to the wall and take him there, fast and hard.

Reid slipped the boxer briefs off of his second shoe and Hotch registered that he’d been babbling for some time about how he hadn’t worn nicer underwear that day and why.

Hotch stepped forward so he could hold out his hand past his co-workers, “I like boxer briefs. I won’t control what you wear, Reid.”

Reid reached out to hand him the underwear and he took it quickly, pressed it to his face to breath in the familiar scent, stuffed it in his pocket, and exited the elevator without looking back. His team hurried after him.

Reid made a small sound of surprise, “Don’t I get anything?!”

Hotch didn’t reply. He couldn’t. There were too many witnesses on the ground floor. He was already taking risks with both their careers by letting his team see him dominating Reid in the elevator. Now he just had to hurry off and hope they weren’t going to run to Strauss.

XXX

Reid was supposed to be heading out to lunch but he was too aroused by Hotch taking his underwear from him. He hurried into a bathroom- he used the ladies because of his clothing selection- and found an empty stall. Once there he anxiously pinched his throbbing cock at the tip with three fingers and waited for the calm to come. He’d been through this enough during captivity to know that arousal would pass. It didn’t have to be sated. He would hold off. It felt too disrespectful to masturbate in the ladies room in Quantico.

Finally he was able to get himself calm enough to exit, wash up, and head to work. His balls and cock brushing against his skirt was a constant reminder for the rest of the day that Hotch still wanted him. He went back to his apartment and threw himself down on the bed to stroke himself to completion while whimpering his name and calling for his absent lover.

XXX

The case was over. It had taken far too long and sleeping with a pair of briefs in his hand at night was a poor surrogate for the man he wanted so desperately. He had used his frustration to hyper focus on finding the unsub but Reid’s absence was still a thorn in all their sides. He’d been a huge asset to the team and replacing him had failed multiple times. It was on the plane ride back that someone finally breached the subject that Hotch had been both dreading and hoping would come up.

“So,” Rossi stated, “Reid.”

“Reid,” Hotch nodded, and the entire team turned to focus on them from wherever they were sitting.

“You’re going to see him when we get back?”

“I don’t know where he is or how to get in contact with him,” Hotch replied, “I don’t even have his new cell number, and as far as I know he doesn’t have mine.”

“He might be waiting for you when we get there after your little display when we left. Will you be ready for that?”

“More than ready,” Hotch replied, his voice unintentionally deepening.

“You really mean to have this continue?” Rossi asked.

“Yes. He needs me and he’s the first person I’ve felt a connection with since Haley died.”

“He’s not _well_ , Aaron,” Rossi replied.

“Are any of us? We may not all have identifiable or diagnosed mental illnesses, but doesn’t everyone have needs beyond the base of Mavlov’s hierarchy?”

“He’s obsessed with you.”

“It goes both ways,” Hotch replied, “And don’t bring up Stockholm. I wanted him before he was abducted, I just hadn’t been ready to do anything about it then.”

“You’re ready now? Because this isn’t going to be a fling, Aaron. He’s going to take from you until you’re drained, and you have Jack to think of.”

“He’ll give back as well,” Hotch replied, “David, you have no idea what he has to give back; to me and to Jack. He’s not _broken_ he’s just bruised. I know how that feels. I have my own scars.”

“We all do,” Rossi replied, “But there’s a difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy infatuation one that I’m a bit concerned you’re not seeing here.”

“As a man divorced multiple times, can you tell me what the difference between love and infatuation is?”

“Yes,” Rossi replied, “I can, but I can also tell you that it’s indeterminate to oneself until it passes.”

“Then we’ll just have to see if this passes.”

Rossi was silent a moment. He let out a heavy sigh, then turned in his seat, “Morgan, give him his number.”

“Uh, uh, no way,” Morgan shook his head, “I’ll help them meet up, but I’m not giving him a ticket to contact Reid on his own. I go with or he doesn’t go. You need backup, Hotch.”

“JJ?” Hotch asked.

JJ sighed, “I’ve only spoken to him in person. I didn’t want to give him my new number because I’m concerned about him being around Henry. He gave me his, but it’s not in my phone.”

“He would _never_ hurt a child,” Hotch replied with a scowl.

“Not directly,” JJ replied, “But what happens when he goes off the deep end and I have to explain to Henry that his godfather isn’t coming back?”

“I’m going to prevent that from happening,” Hotch replied, “And if he becomes too ill for me to help him I’ll get him help from someone who can. I’m not going into this with blinders on. I know he’s schizophrenic. I know he’s had a mental breakdown that has altered his perceptions. I also know that schizophrenia isn’t a stop-all illness. He can, and will, lead a normal life with help. From medication or friends or both. Besides, have you forgotten that the woman who raised Spencer was schizophrenic? We of all people should know not to stick a label on someone just because they’re mentally ill. You keep refusing to believe me when I tell you he didn’t rape me. I’m telling you again now. _It was consensual_. I challenged him to come and get me and he did, but if I hadn’t wanted it to continue I would have stopped it the second Jack was out of the apartment.”

“Hotch,” Prentiss started, “Aaron, I know what you _think_ happened…”

“If you ask me,” Hotch interrupted, “It sounds like you all find my mental state more alarming than his.”

“You’ve been acting as if nothing has changed, nothing happened. It makes no sense,” JJ pointed out.

“Nothing _has_ changed,” Hotch replied, “Or are you forgetting I was married once? Going home and having fantastic sex with someone I care about isn’t new to me. Sadly neither is them not being there the next day and me having no choice in the matter. What will make me act as if something changed is if he’d returned to work with us. I imagine our working relationship would be affected. That hasn’t happened. The thing is I have a shot at getting him back, and I’m not going to waste it. Even if you don’t help me, I’m going to be with him. It isn’t your choice, it’s mine and his.”

“What about your job?” Rossi asked, “Strauss was sincere. She’ll force you to retire.”

“I’ll live with it if I have to. Maybe I’ll get a menial job or do volunteer work. Hell, I’ll be a househusband. Who cares? Just so long as I have _Spencer.”_

“He means that much to you?” Prentiss asked.

“He does,” Hotch replied, “Your perception is that this is sudden and unhealthy but this isn’t a fly-by-your-seat situation. I’d been developing feelings for him for a long time. It’s the same for Reid, he told me he had feelings for me the day he was abducted. Our perception is that we were interrupted before we could properly court each other and now we’re being _kept apart_.”

“So _we’re_ the bad guys?” Garcia chirped from the phone. Hotch hadn’t been aware she was listening, “This sucks!”

“Garcia, what’s his phone number?” Hotch asked her.

Garcia was silent a moment and then rattled off the number. Hotch typed it into his phone and then dialled it and waited patiently for a moment. The entire group was silent as they waited anxiously.

“When can I get my underwear back?” Reid asked, and Hotch smiled warmly.

“How did you know it was me? I thought my number was being kept from you.”

“It was,” Reid replied, “But this number isn’t exactly in a lot of phone banks, so it was either a wrong number, JJ, or you calling. I was half hoping it was a wrong number, because that’s actually a pretty funny way to get them to never call back again.”

Hotch chuckled, “You never cease to amaze me.”

“I’ve missed you,” Reid stated softly.

“I’ve missed you, too. Will you come and see me?”

“Are you ready for that? I _violated_ you and your home, Aaron. I’m surprised you can even look at me.”

“I’ll decide if I’m victimized or not, thank you very much,” Hotch replied hotly.

Reid was silent.

“I’m sorry,” Hotch sighed, “I’m just tired of everyone telling me I’m a victim.”

“Me too,” Reid replied, “And the whole part where my co-workers are slightly afraid of me isn’t helping.”

“This must be so hard on you,” Hotch said softly.

“It’s been… horrific,” Reid sighed, “I just want some normalcy back. I can’t get myself straightened out if my environment is chaotic, and I don’t mean the work- because I’m used to violent crime- I mean the living situation and my co-workers. I’m practically looking forward to Florida. At least then I’ll be in an apartment instead of a hotel and I’ll have a fresh start with people who haven’t worked directly with you.”

Hotch was silent, his eyes burning, “You are going, then.”

“I haven’t been given a choice,” Reid replied.

“If I gave you one?”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“I can offer it.”

“I’m listening,” Reid shifted on the other side of the phone, the sound of fabric touching fabric reaching his ears. Hotch could practically hear the over starched hotel sheets.

“You come and live with me. That will stabilize your home environment. You can either take a new job entirely or I’ll retire from the BAU so you can stay in Virginia.”

“What would you do if you retired?” Reid replied with a snort, “Hotch, I’m more employable than you are and I’m psychotic.”

“Come again?” Hotch asked, insulted.

“You’re a one-show pony,” Reid pointed out, “You do this and nothing else. What would you even have interest in?”

“Okay, _you_ quit the FBI,” Hotch replied testily.

Reid sighed, “I’m not trying to insult you. Can you at least admit I’m right about you not wanting to do anything else?”

“Yes, you’re right.”

“And I have research options that are frankly better suited to my mental abilities.”

“You’d miss saving lives,” Hotch replied, “The constantly changing puzzles.”

“I’m already missing that. I’m on my way to research in Florida and if I stay here it will be the same, maybe they’ll let me near the recruits but for the most part I’ve been rendered a flesh and blood computer they can collect data with.”

“So you’re not happy with the FBI anymore?”

“I’m not happy anywhere,” Reid replied, “I want you first and foremost, the rest I don’t give a flying hoot about.”

“Then we play this fast and loose,” Hotch replied, “We meet up and see if we still think this is possible, if it is we’ll take it to Strauss and tell her to either give you your job back in the BAU or give _you_ early retirement. Then you find a job that makes you happy.”

Hotch’s eyes roamed over his group. They all met his eyes. None of them flinched or looked away. They were in. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back in relief.

“I can’t wait to be in your arms again,” Reid sighed, “It feels like years, not months.”

“I’m tired, Spence,” Hotch sighed, “I’ve been up for hours on end and I haven’t slept right since they hauled you off. Jack keeps asking for you. He thinks you’re fun.”

“The only little boy besides Henry who is immune to the to the Reid Effect,” Reid chuckled, “Are you far away?”

“Two more hours to this flight.”

“Is there some way I can help you sleep?”

“Yeah, talk to me. Tell me about the latest list you’re memorizing. Something unimportant that interests you so I don’t have to worry about what I don’t remember. I love how enthusiastic you get about everything,” Hotch shifted to lay his seat back and plugged in his headset.

“Well, there was this one code I was researching. It’s a way to track the variables in…”

Hotch fell asleep and was surpised to find that Reid was still on the phone with him when Rossi shook him awake. He was reading- or perhaps reciting out loud- a book to him.

“We’re about to land. Sit up and buckle in,” Rossi told him.

Hotch adjusted the seatbelt and told Reid he’d call him back. Reid yawned, “Okay, call me when you can.”

“I will,” Hotch promised, and sat up to wait out the flight. He was back on the phone the second the door opened.

“That was fast.”

“Plane landed. What were you reading to me?”

“Of Mice and Men, it’s an old favourite of mine that means a lot more to me now.”

“You relate to which character?”

“Lennie Small,” Reid replied as they headed for the SUV that would take them back to Headquarters.

“The tragic murderer,” Hotch stated softly, “If I recall correctly, Lennie killed accidentally. He was too big and didn’t know his own strength. Wasn’t he mentally disabled as well?”

“Yes, but some speculate that an IQ over 160 is the intelligent equivalent of a mental disability. The inability to relate to those around them and constant ostracizing can create a melting pot of depression, anxiety, and social disorders, especially since those with above average intelligence are more prone to things like drug addiction due to their innate curiosity and penchant for experimentation.”

“Your social skills have improved since being with the BAU and if anyone bullies you I’ll take care of them,” Hotch replied.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” Reid replied.

“I know,” Hotch sighed, “But you’re not Lennie Small. I’m not dead. Neither is the man you abducted in California. He wasn’t even sexually assaulted.”

“Not like you,” Reid said softly.

“I wasn’t either. I had two thoroughly fantastic shags. Three if you count us fooling around on the floor in front of the couch,” Hotch snapped.

“Shags?” Reid chuckled.

“I like Austin Powers.”

“Oh _no!_ ” Reid groaned, “You know that might be a deal breaker, Hotch.”

Hotch grinned, “You’ll leave me over Austin Powers?”

“That’s it, we can’t be together. I’ve lost all respect for you,” Reid sighed dramatically.

Hotch laughed and Morgan pulled into the lot where his car parked. Hotch nodded to the others and headed for his vehicle while they all trudged off in different directions with the exception of Morgan. Morgan was following him, apparently still concerned. Hotch let him until he saw what was waiting for him in his car. Reid was curled up in the back seat with his phone plugged into what looked like a self-made battery charger that was mostly wires and potatoes.

“Oh, hi,” Reid stated, glancing up at him through the window, “I thought this was easier than arranging a place to meet.”

Hotch smiled at him, hung up the phone, and turned to Morgan who was staring at him in the back seat with a look of alarm on his face.

“Relax,” Hotch stated.

“He’s lying in wait for you, and you want me to relax?” Morgan asked in alarm, “Look Hotch, Reid’s my friend. I love him like a brother, but this is _not_ healthy.”

“It was role play, Morgan. Just like we do when we’re tracking unsubs. Just like some open-minded people do in bed. Reid and I combined it to help him get through what happened to him. That’s all.”

“Role play,” Morgan repeated.

“Role play.”

“With you and Jack playing the part of victims?”

“Reid left Jack out of it,” Hotch replied.

“Except as leverage to keep you going,” Morgan argued.

Hotch didn’t respond. He simply opened his car door and slipped into the driver’s seat. Morgan walked around the back and knocked on the passenger seat window.

“Let me in, Hotch! You’re not doing this alone!”

“I’m not interested in exhibitionism,” Hotch snapped back, starting the car. Morgan crossed to stand behind it and block their way from pulling out of the parking space.

“For the record,” Reid replied, “Given my sexual experience in the past exhibitionism is probably a completely neutral thing for me. I’m not really into it but it also doesn’t phase me.”

Hotch sighed and turned off the car, “Fine! Get in!”

 

VVV

_A/N Alternate scene for the elevator that I just can’t get out of my head, but it wouldn’t have gone over well so I had to nix it but I just HAD to share._

“Hotch, we can take the stairs,” Morgan spat out, grabbing at his arm.

Hotch jerked it free and stepped into the elevator. There wasn’t a moment of hesitation as the rest of them all shoved in, Prentiss and Morgan pressing Hotch against the wall opposite Reid while muttering apologies as if they weren’t doing it on purpose. He stood there with a group between himself and the man he loved and the tension in the elevator couldn’t have been thicker. He wanted something from Reid. Anything. A sign that he had moved on or still wanted him. _Anything._

Hotch turned his head, but Rossi, Morgan, JJ, and Prentiss had arranged themselves so he couldn’t even _see_ Reid in the corner of the elevator. He growled in frustration, unintentionally making it audible enough for the sound to carry to Reid. He made a choked sound.

“Just a few more seconds,” JJ whispered softly, “If we can manage this than we can deal until you leave.”

“I just…” Reid stammered, “Would it help him or hurt him if I apologized?”

That was it. Hotch stepped forward and slammed two fingers down on the emergency stop button. A buzzing sound filled the elevator and the group surged forward to try to restrain Hotch, but he shoved his way through them to where Reid had plastered himself into the corner, elbowing someone hard in the solar plexus and stepping firmly on another pair of shoes. Reid threw his hands arms over his face as Hotch slammed his hands down on either side of his head.

“Not the face, there will be visible evidence and you’ll get in trouble!” Reid spat out.

“I have been listening,” Hotch snarled, “To everyone from my friends to professionals tell me how to feel about you for months now and I’m sick of it, but I _never_ thought you’d buy into it. You’re smarter than that.”

Reid’s arms lowered and his eyes slowly rose to stare at Hotch who stared down at him for a moment. Then Hotch slowly lowered himself to his knees without breaking Reid’s cherished eye contact. Reid’s breath sped up and his eyes widened, cheeks flushing to a brilliant shade beneath his curls.

“Hotch!” Morgan snapped, “Hotch, there are _cameras_.”

“Tell me to stop,” Hotch stated, sliding his hand up the outside of each of Reid’s legs, starting at his ankles. He wasn’t wearing pantyhose but his legs were so smooth Hotch suspected they’d been waxed. Up and up they moved while an erection slowly tented Reid’s skirt. The group seemed frozen and JJ was biting her bottom lip at the free show, “Reid, if you want me to stop you have to tell me no. I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“Don’t stop,” Reid gasped, his voice inaudible beneath the buzzing, but Hotch read his lips and his hands moved faster up beneath the skirt.

He was surprised when he encountered cotton so far down on his thighs, but Reid’s head had fallen back against the corner so he wasn’t about to explain it. He moved up further and hooked his thumbs in the waistband so he could pull it forward enough to pull it forward off Reid’s hard cock. As he slid it down Reid’s legs started shaking so hard that his knees were literally knocking together. Hotch’s eyes never left Reid’s face as he carefully slipped the boxer briefs off of each foot, sliding Reid’s feet gently back into his shoes and smoothing his hand over the leather briefly before moving on the next. When he had his prize he slowly rose to his feet, pressed them to his face to breathe in the scent just as Reid opened his eyes and gave him a look of absolute and intense desire. Neither moved forward.

 _“This is maintenance, is anyone stuck in the elevator?_ ”

Morgan and Prentiss exchanged horrified looks and Prentiss pressed forward and hit the call button.

“Yeah, it just stopped and started making this weird buzzing noise. I tried hitting the doors open button but it’s not working.”

“ _Can you depress the ‘emergency close’ button?”_ The voice asked over the speaker.

“Oh… is that…” Prentiss hit the button and the buzzing stopped, “Oh my gosh, is _that_ what happened? One of us must have bumped it when the boys were horsing around. You know how guys can be. Always showing off in front of a pretty girl.”

_“Try not to do that again.”_

The door slid open and Hotch turned sharply, stuffing the underwear in his pocket, and headed for the exit. His team followed in a hurry. He didn’t glance back or he would have seen Reid slide to the floor and the maintenance man hurry in with a worried look.

“You okay… er… miss? Did they do something?”

“What?” Reid stammered, “No. I mean, yeah. We were just goofing off. It’s fine.”

“Maybe I should get someone…”

“It’s not what it looks like,” Reid replied, tugging his bag in front of his crotch to hide his erection, “Thank you for your concern.”

“Well, if you’re sure…” The man muttered as Reid hurried past him and out to lunch.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the ridiculously short chapter, but it just feels done despite the fact I had a few more ideas for this one. This was where the fic was supposed to end, but with all the encouragement I’ve gotten I’ll be continuing it in a sequel. Thank you very much for reading!

“Wise men say,” Hotch murmured along with the music, “Only fools rush in, but I can’t help… falling in love… with… you…”

Reid smiled down at Hotch from the height his heels gave him as they swayed together in the living room, an old record player running Elvis’ voice over them like smooth velvet. Reid had been near hysterics when he’d seen it and begged Hotch to play him a record. Now they were hip to hip with Reid’s arms over his shoulder’s and his around that angular waist. Gone was the fear of eye contact, Reid met his with shining love and admiration. His lips would quirk up into a teasing smile whenever Hotch sang the refrain and whenever he leaned a bit closer his hair would tease the sides of Hotch’s face. Morgan was on the couch smiling up at them. He’d been ‘supervising’ their date, watching as they ate together, tucked in Jack together, and then sat down for a very serious discussion that involved tears on both their faces. Finally they had calmed, Hotch had put on a record and poured a glass of wine, and they had collapsed onto the couch so he could hold Reid against his chest in absolute emotional exhaustion. Echoes of their conversation- and argument- echoed through both their minds. _I’m afraid of myself. I don’t know where this could possibly go. What if they’re right? What if they’re wrong? What about Jack?_

“Will you dance with me?” Reid asked softly, waking Hotch from a light doze, “I was always so jealous when you danced with Haley…”

Hotch sat up and stared down at him in surprise, “Even back then…?”

Reid winced, “I won’t say it was love at first sight or anything ridiculous like that, but it’s been… years. I’m not even sure how long. One day I just looked at you and… hurt.”

Hotch pressed a kiss to his forehead, “Of course we can dance.”

Hotch changed the record to a favourite and pulled Reid in to a quick dance, swinging him about so his skirt twirled around his knees. He laughed, stumbled, picked up the beat, and finally surrendered to Hotch leading him until they moved seamlessly together while Morgan nodded with a smile plastering his face. He had made himself unobtrusive during dinner, had stepped in between them when they’d argued after putting Jack to bed, and once the song switched over to a slower song he stood up, collected his jacket and left them with a fond smile over his shoulder.

Reid and Hotch were moving closer, their noses dragged together briefly, then Reid’s lips parted in a soft sigh and Hotch pressed forward. They stopped dancing to just hold each other and let their mouths move to the soft song. Wet muscle slid against its mate, eyes fluttered shut, hands clutched fabric. When they separated Reid was staring down at him with such heavy eyes that Hotch smiled softly at him and whispered for him to go clean up for bed.

Hotch locked the door, turned off the lights, brushed his teeth, and hurried in to find Reid sitting on the bed fully clothed, “I didn’t bring anything. I didn’t want to be presumptuous.”

“Would you like to borrow a t-shirt?” Hotch asked, “I don’t have anything feminine…”

“I’m just not sure where this is going,” Reid asked, “Should I… Should I undress in front of you?”

“Only if you want to,” Hotch replied, “We can take this as fast or as slow as you want. A redo. Like we agreed.”

“With all the intimacy I need,” Reid nodded.

They had decided that they wouldn’t jump into an committed relationship right away, that a courtship was important for them both at this point. They would let it happen naturally and if it led to sex soon they’d accept it, but if not than neither had to feel pressured to perform for the other. The one thing Reid had insisted upon was casual physical contact. He needed to be hugged and held. Hotch had all but rushed to agree to that and told him he was welcome to stay the night in a completely platonic way that involved a _lot_ of cuddling. Reid had agreed readily.

Reid stood and slipped out of his blouse and skirt, kicking off his shoes and stretching his toes. He accepted the t-shirt Hotch handed him and put it on, keeping the bra and his panties on.

“I have clean underwear if you’d like…”

“I’ll take a pair tomorrow for work,” Reid replied, slipping into the bed and smirking at him, “Should I leave this pair here?”

“If you like,” Hotch smirked, “If you aren’t staying tomorrow night I can give you the shirt I’m wearing now.”

“I sprayed my pillows at the hotel with your brand of cologne,” Reid admitted with a blush.

“You’re adorable,” Hotch replied, pressing a kiss to his lips, “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

 

_A/N: Sorry for the ridiculously short chapter, but it just feels done despite the fact I had a few more ideas for this one. This was where the fic was supposed to end, but with all the encouragement I’ve gotten I’ll be continuing it in a sequel. Thank you very much for reading!_


End file.
